Why Reaching Your Goals Can Backfire!

December 8, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Have you ever heard of someone famous, wealthy, and influential who was not happy?

It’s almost predictable that successful people who are put in the spotlight will at some point implode or have an inciting event that causes them to change their philosophy about life and all the goals they achieved.

Achieving your goals is not the most crucial thing in life, and it will most certainly not make you happier.

I am sure you have said to yourself things like, "If I get into that university or get that job, I will be so happy," or something like, "If I earn that much money or live in that kind of house or marry that type of person, I will be so happy."

Don't get me wrong. Setting goals and achieving them is one of the best things you can do to create an exciting life. Just don't bank on being happy when you reach them.

As Steve Perry from the band Journey says, “Don’t stop believing. Hold on to that feeling."

To me, that song was all about achieving your dreams and staying in the right frame of mind regardless of the obstacles along the way.

Why is it then that reaching goals do not necessarily make us happy?

Think about it this way. We live in a society that sets us up to think that if we are rich, famous, or loved, we will be happy. All of these conditions are external causes of supposed happiness. This is why you can reach the top, feel exhilarated for a while, and then feel nothing special soon after.

It’s not that you are being ungrateful for your blessings or that you are neurotic. It is simply because you are looking at the external world to make you happy.

What should you do instead? You know the answer!

Start from the inside out. Look internal. Be inner-focused. Get deeper knowledge of yourself and start from there.

But wait, you say, isn't that getting a bit too "out there" and "woo-woo?"

Yes, it is, and if you think about it more, you might agree that you need to start from the inside out and not the outside in.

I will not lay out a technique for you to follow. Instead, what I will point out is a few truths for you to consider:

All happiness is a thought that you create and then feel. In other words, you feel your thinking.

That is how it works.

So, if you set a goal and achieve it and have fleeting happiness, you can examine your thinking.

Let’s say you set a goal for being successful in your career or business. Let’s say you become President of your division or finally hit 7 figure business revenues and then realize you are not as happy as you thought you would be. Here is what you might do:

Focus on the person you became while you worked on achieving your goals. You could focus on the internal feeling of growth and pat yourself on the back for how far you have come and all the things you learned along the way.

You could focus on an internal feeling of security, knowing that your abilities and mindset are a source of riches more than your bank balance.

It's all internal, not external.

When you look at it this way, you might conclude that you are better off without goals.

I am not saying we don't need goals, just don't hitch your happiness wagon to achieving them to feel fulfilled internally.

We should have goals so we have a reason to get out of bed every day. Striving and working on your goals is healthy and gives us purpose. In a way, whether you achieve your goals as you pictured or not doesn’t matter.

Keep striving towards your goals; accept the results but look inward for your reward.

“Don’t stop believing!” “Hold on to that internal feeling!”

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Why Good Health Always Matters

December 1, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

We all know that it’s important to stay in good physical and mental shape. We’ve heard for many years about the benefits of a good diet and regular exercise as well as positive mental practices. Good sleep and meditation are increasingly popular along with going out in nature. But WHY should you really care about this frequently mentioned advice coming to us for thousands of years? WHY does it matter in the modern world where we deal with technology and information and less directly with people?

It matters because we do still deal with people and taking care of our health is one of the signs of capability and indirectly, a sign of competence to do something. It’s just natural that we pay more attention to the fit person who is also well dressed and has the qualifications for a job or task. The human mind is definitely biased towards strength, youth, and energy levels in another human being just like we favour general appearance as attractive. I would argue that strength, energy, and a positive attitude are PART of the overall package of attractiveness that our minds seek and we do prefer these qualities compared to someone who doesn’t exercise, eat healthy, or who lacks confidence in their speech. We can’t easily change our appearance to be something like a fashion model or movie star but we can all improve our fitness levels which benefit our confidence, energy, and the aging process. This is how we demonstrate ‘fitness for the task’ being considered. Our health is visible to others all the time and it needs to be as best as we can make it so we maximize our opportunities in life.

If you truly want to succeed in life and be seen as a capable person for any career or business opportunity, or even a significant volunteer effort, you need to take care of your health. Most people are not going to trust an important job or even volunteer task to someone who looks like they might get injured, get sick or generally be incapable of handling the responsibility. Don’t you personally think better of someone who is fit and healthy compared to someone who is not? Don’t you want the people you deal with to show some kind of discipline in their lives? Being healthy takes a certain amount of consistent discipline which indicates something about a person’s competence in other aspects of life. Someone who is regularly taking care of their mind and body will show it in the way they move and speak and will always have the advantage over someone who doesn’t even though they may be the same age and have the same qualifications. It’s unfortunate that our minds are biased this way but we can use this knowledge to our advantage. Take care of yourself and demonstrate that you are the right person for any task because you DO HAVE WHAT IT TAKES! Live Awesome!

Why Your Cup Should Be Half Empty!

November 24, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

“Life can be hard. Life can be unkind. Life can be unfair.”

That is looking at life with the glass half-empty.

We all have heard that you are better off seeing life with a glass half full, but what if this idea leaves out something more important to know?

There is a story about a spiritual seeker sitting with his teacher to learn more about the secrets to a happy life.

The teacher tells his student that he will explain everything, but first, they must drink a glass of water.

The teacher put the glass on the table and started pouring the water into the glass. The student was about to reach for the glass as it was almost full, but the teacher kept pouring the water, which then began spilling out of the glass and onto the table. The student hesitated to say anything out of respect but then requested his teacher to stop pouring water as the glass was full.

It was then that the teacher stopped and said to the student that if he wanted to learn anything new, he would need to empty the contents of his mind to make room for some new ideas. A full glass of water is just like a full mind.

A good many of us know everything there is to know. And the rest of us are rarely open to new ideas.

If we willingly make some mental space, we just might learn what we need to know. And then we might benefit and see a better path to a happy life. A life that avoids unnecessary meandering and frustration.

Here is an idea that might be new to you.

If you want to increase your happiness, just think less.

Remember the days of being a child in grade school. Recall your summer break and how you spent your days. I bet you remember them as moving slowly and full of fond memories like going for a bike ride with friends and staying out until the street lights came on and getting into mischief in between. You were not thinking about the past, you were not living a hectic present, and you were not looking at a frantic future. You were just enjoying the ride!

Am I making sense? Once you grow up, you think a lot. You think about all the things you have to get done by 5 pm; all the emails and projects and text messages that need your attention; what you will make for dinner; who and what bothers you from yesterday and ten years ago and all the unknowns of tomorrow.

When you do this, you are not enjoying the ride or enjoying the incredible sweet taste of a banana-flavored popsicle dripping on your fingers and the laughter of your friends as you ride your bike through the park.

All the extra thinking is like a log that begins a jam in a narrowing river. Before long, the flow of water is affected as the initial log creates catches more debris flowing down the river. Until the log jam is dislodged, the water flow is altered and generates overflows and floods on the banks of the river.

Thinking less can lead to fewer logs and mental debris from entering the mental river in the first place. An unobstructed river lets the water flow into the lake and from there to the sea where it naturally should be.

When you think less, you enable your mind to have a natural flow of just being. No mile-a-minute thinking. It's like being on vacation; you enjoy the sun more, enjoying the taste of your food, and you enjoy conversations more too. All because you are thinking less.

Be still. Be chill and continue to climb every hill.

What you think about is your reality. What you think about puts you into a state of mind and feeling. If you want to change your state of mind and emotions, become aware of your thoughts.

The Overlooked Power Of One Thought

November 17, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

To be or not to be. Said someone famous. What did he mean? That is the question.

Here is what I think William Shakespeare meant when he wrote those famous words. I personally believe he was referring to happiness.

To be happy or not to be happy!

That is a good question because being happy is something we all fall in and out of. When we are happy, we know it, and when we are not, we wish we were. But how and why do we become happy, especially when we are not?

The principle of happiness lies in one thing. Perhaps you will agree that it’s thought.

Your experience of life is felt through the filter of your thoughts!

You don't become happy because things are going your way; instead, you are happy because your thoughts about things are causing you to be happy or not.

To bolster my point, I want to first discuss that thoughts are the seed that gives birth to things in the real world, including your genuine feelings.

Thoughts become things. This is evident when we see that every invention began as a thought before it was brought into practical form.

That is why Steve Jobs will be remembered, for better or worse, as the one responsible for making humanity addicted to their cell phones. It doesn’t matter if those smartphones are made by Apple or Samsung or someone else.

So, not understanding that thoughts create feelings is to ignore a magic bullet that hits the target of happiness every time.

You are only one thought away from happiness or sadness. You are only one thought away from experiencing life in a better way.

If you are feeling blue, try to identify your thoughts and isolate them so you can look at them as an observer. Then, try to give yourself an alternative way of looking at your situation, whether it's circumstances or people that have got you down.

Sometimes we "snap out of it" when we see or hear something that makes our issues look more manageable than they initially feel or appear to be.

For example, if you were to see a homeless mother sitting on a dusty sidewalk of a third-world country playing with her toddler and seeing them giggle, you would likely and instantly appreciate all the abundance and so-called problems you have.

Have you ever heard the expression, "catch that thought"? It comes from the phenomenon that our thoughts are too numerous to quantify, and any one of them can instantly set us off on a chain reaction of other thoughts without us noticing it.

That is why some learned psychologists refer to catching your thoughts as the pause between stimulus and response.

Well, what more can I say about thinking and being happy? A lot I imagine, but for now, remember this:

One thought can make a difference. And here is an excellent idea for you to consider.

What you think about is your reality. What you think about puts you into a state of mind and feeling. If you want to change your state of mind and emotions, become aware of your thoughts.

YOU Are The Best Investment You Will Ever Make!

November 10, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“You are essentially who you create yourself to be, and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” Stephen Richards

LeBron James, the basketball superstar, is doing it. So are many successful business people, artists, and students of all ages. I’m talking about consistently investing their time, attention, and money in their overall health. Whether you are a star NBA player or wealthy business person, or just an average human being trying to make the most of life, you have to work on yourself constantly. You need to invest your resources on yourself! This includes your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This is what separates the average and just “good” performers from the GREATS.

“Beginning today, set an intention and a relentless focus on living your life as the greatest person you can be, in all situations.” Brendon Burchard

Champions, Legends in the making, and Successful people in the world of Business and Art all know that they have so much potential which needs to be nurtured. They also know that skill and even performance declines over time if we sit idle. It’s hard enough to become a Gold Medal Athlete or Award Winning Author in the first place. To maintain a series of WINS and successes in life takes more than just hard work and talent. It involves discipline and training. Constant learning and refining of your skills with the best coaches, technology, and mindset that you can develop. It means spending some of your hard-earned money on becoming better, stronger, and more resilient to the stress of aging while you perform at your peak capacity over time. It’s difficult and it can even get expensive for someone like LeBron James but it’s worth it in the end as you can see from his stellar performance on the court! He spent about $1 Million USD on his health last year and similarly in years past. That’s not a lot of money for him given his overall income from the game and sponsorships but it is still a lot of money. He’s very smart for putting his money into his overall well-being like so many other successful people have done. Surely, the rest of us can spend some time investing in better nutrition, online courses, a career coach or personal mentorship program, or some time volunteering for an organization we believe in. We can probably do all of these in the same year with just a small amount of time and money invested wisely. It may not help win a sports contest or be a rockstar but it will help you stand out in your own circle of friends and peers. Those people who are consistently investing time and money into their own well-being get noticed. They tend to be healthier, happier, and more respected because of this key desire for constant improvement with your own resources. Just think about it for a moment. If you are not willing to spend time, effort, and some money on yourself on a regular basis, why should anyone else do the same for you?

“What we face may look insurmountable. But I learned something from all those years of training and competing. I learned something from all those sets and reps when I didn’t think I could lift another ounce of weight. What I learned is that we are always stronger than we know.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

What are you doing with the resources you have gathered with all your WINS in life? If you don’t have enough of the desired money, fame, or time you want, perhaps you aren’t spending enough time investing in yourself. If you have sufficient quantities of these resources in the bank, congratulations! Now, what are you doing to maintain your success in life with these resources so that you can become an even more Awesome human being?

The Difference Between Simple and Easy

November 1, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

Life can be complicated, confusing, and chaotic for some people. For others, it’s simple and very clear. This is not the same thing as being “Easy” because that would imply there is no effort required and everything just happens automagically by itself. A cup of rich black coffee, a slightly hard-boiled egg, or neatly folded bed sheets are all examples of simple tasks for most people, but can still be challenging to execute properly for various reasons. I propose we all try to live a simpler life while recognizing that it will have challenges that are worth it in the end.

The opposite of Hard, Tiresome, Gruelling work is Effortless, or Easy work. Human beings love and even need good challenges throughout their lives because it makes life more interesting and provides opportunities for growth. That growth in our minds and bodies lets us become better human beings. What we don’t need is to have complexity, lots of randomness, or mystery in our daily lives. These kinds of things create a negative stress loop if they continue for days or weeks…or even longer. That will wear us down in the end and even cause chronic disease.

So, figure out how to simplify your day and your month so you are super clear on the following things:

What’s your purpose in the family or community you live in? How do you carry out your responsibilities in the best way?
What is unnecessary in your daily routine and could be made simpler by help from someone or, handing over to someone else to do for you like your taxes, oil changes on your car, or installing a new security camera system?
After taking out as much complexity and confusion in your routine, plan to double down on what’s left. It should be significant things that make you fulfilled but will still challenge you at times.

I wish for you to all have better lives through Simple Living and all the Awesomeness that will bring.

Make Things With Your Hands

October 27, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

We all used to do this as children. We made things with blocks, with playdoh, and with paper. We regularly worked with our hands and it was fun. There was great meaning and joy in it. What happened to those days?

We all became more digital and started using computers and tablet devices more. We can create great audio/visual things on these devices and it’s lots of fun. The problem is that it’s just not the same as creating physical objects. There’s something appealing and powerful about creating something physical which could be as simple as a sandwich or a salad even.

Remember what kinds of things you loved to create as a child and make some of those things again. It will be fun and good for your brain. Who knows. You may inspire everyone around you to also sew/knit, cook, do woodwork, or paint again. Wouldn’t that be Awesome!?

This Story (Allegory) Could Change Your Life!

October 20, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Once upon a time, there was a group of people who were imprisoned in a cave. This unfortunate group of people were chained by their necks, arms, and legs to only face the dark walls in front of them. Behind them was a fire to provide them with some warmth. However, what they saw in front of them were shadows of objects that moved behind them.

One day, one of the prisoners broke loose from the chains and saw the real world of objects and even ventured outside the cave's mouth and saw the sun and the trees. She then returned to the prisoners and explained what really lies beyond the cave.

The prisoners declared her mad and even agreed to kill her if they could.

This story is given to us by the Greek Philosopher Plato. It is a powerful allegory that can be interpreted in many ways…A wise person has said, “there are no facts, just interpretations.”.

I wish to highlight the moral of the story that we all live in a cave world where we see a particular perspective of life. Often, that perspective is limited and may not serve us well. All we have to do is break free of our “chains” and venture outside the cave to see the world of truth and possibilities.

Once we leave the cave, we do not want to ever go back and dwell there again.

We become free to explore and grow. We are no longer limited to only see shadows of the world. We can witness the very objects in their true light.

May you remember the “Allegory of the Cave” and use it as an instant reminder to live an Awesome Life!

Where You Headed?

October 13, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don't much care where—” said Alice. “Then it doesn't matter which way you go,” said the Cat. (Alice In Wonderland)

In challenging times as well as during normal days, we can lose sight of where we are going in life. It’s so easy to become a reactive person and just deal with what’s urgent or in front of you right now without considering what happens next. Too many people are just trying to ‘get through the day’ and losing track of which direction they are moving to. This takes the fun and meaning out of life and is no way to spend this gift called existence.

As with many things in life, where you are going starts with decisions made in your head. Everything from Where and Why to How and Who is coming along for the ride. When you start and When you will take a break are also conscious choices you will need to make.

Here are 3 Easy Things you can do to get to some meaningful destinations:

Make note of what you are doing each day and why. Just write things down and look at your daily activities for an entire week.
Write out where you want to be in a month, at the end of the year and 10 years from now. Be clear about your destination and the meaning it has for you.
Decide what you are going to do each day to move closer to each of your milestones. Make sure you have clear next steps and even ‘pit stops’ to just have a diversion or rest from all the great progress you will be making. This will help you recharge and get back on the road again.

How I Learned the Awesome Importance Of The NOW From My Son

October 5, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.” – Seneca

My young son is going to be 2 years old in a few short months and it’s been a joy to spend so much time with him every day. I am finally realizing how blessed I am to work from home and see him daily for many hours at a time. I literally see him grow before my eyes. By spending more time in the moment and rushing less through my day, I’m able to appreciate all the many things going on around me including the human development and bonding time with my son. That realization inspired me to write this post to better appreciate each and every single day of life.

You are alive today….at this very moment. You are choosing to read this blog post and do so many other things in the present moment. One thing after another. This is how you will spend your time this hour, this day and eventually your life. What you give your attention to grows and becomes part of you.

The NOW is precious. The NOW is where we live in real time. The Past Is gone. The Future is uncertain. The NOW is all you really have for a moment in time. What are you thinking right now?

The Here and NOW is what you have to dwell in and that is called living. To truly breathe in and breathe out this atmosphere in the present. Don’t get caught up in the regrets of yesterday, or the many fears of tomorrow. Live right NOW. Pay attention! This moment will be gone in a second. Here comes the next one and it’s gone too. Choose to Live Awesome NOW and your life will be a summary of that choice made each day.

This Is Why You Might Like To Change Your Identity

September 29, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Growing up, I was really into Superman and Spiderman. As a real small child, I wish I could fly and make webs shoot out of my wrists. But, I also thought it would be cool to be who I was not⎯a superhero with extraordinary strength and the admiration of the people I saved using my powers.

Not until recently did I realize that the underlying fascination with superheroes lies in the phenomenon of vicariously changing your identity from your ordinary self to someone greater. Peter Parker and Clark Kent are much like me, regular, average and one of many. However, Spiderman and Superman are quite the opposite and represent a transformation from "mild-mannered guy next door" to "superhero with mystique and muscles to boot!"

I never realized the power of “identity change” as being the spider bite that leads to greatness until I read a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book has received great reviews and reveals a framework for success by building positive habits or dropping harmful ones.

Mr. Clear has a very engaging writing style and brings home several vital points that deliver the essential keys to anyone's desire to go from zero to hero.

Goals, according to James, are great, but rather than focus on goals, you ought to focus on who you want to become. In other words, what identity do you wish to adopt! For example, do you want to lose weight and get ready for an upcoming wedding, or do you see yourself as a fit and healthy person? Do you want to read three books this year that will advance your personal development, or do you see yourself as a lifelong learner?

James offers a simple message to harness the power of identity change as a means to achieving your goals.

It has two parts. They are simple and straightforward.

My friend Shazad and partner in the campaign to make you more Awesome adds a third.

So here is the Super Awesome Action Plan for achieving your goals through changing your identity:

First, decide who you want to be!
Then, prove it to yourself with small wins.
Live each day accordingly.

As James correctly points out. Everyone has goals. This is not a remarkable thing. What activates the power of goals is a decision to identify the identity you need to embody, so you become someone who accomplishes the goal.

This is the path to your greatness; however, you define it. Become the person that would achieve the goal.

With great identity comes great achievement.

Openings in Time and Living Awesome

September 22, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

We all lead busy lives with so much going on every day. Meeting after meeting. Call after call and urgent demands from everywhere come for us. Rapid-fire media updates and app notifications blasting away at us all day like machine-gun fire No wonder we are tired and overwhelmed! So what’s the antidote? How do you become ‘bullet-proof’ or better yet, stop the bullets from hitting you?

You’ve heard it before. Say NO to as many things as you can without avoiding truly necessary activities in life. Create openings for creativity and even some boredom each day. Don’t pack your daily schedule so tight that you cannot even take a Bio break or spend 15-30 minutes of quality time to have lunch with family and friends. We have to take our time and our lives back from constant ‘busyness’.

Our attention is the thing most people and companies want so be frugal and disciplined with it. Not everyone deserves your time. Those who truly do need you likely want more of your time and are being neglected because you may be distracted and too engaged in everything during your day.

Here’s how you take your life back:

Identify the 1-3 things that truly deserve your attention each day and say NO to everything else that day.
Decide if the other things should be Delegated, Delayed, or Deleted entirely from your schedule. Let someone else deal with things for a few days and see what happens.
Stop stacking calls/meetings and activities back to back for more than 2 hours at a time. Make sure you have about 10 minutes or more to just think and decompress every 2 hours.
Schedule eating time on your calendar so you are forced to just have food without working.
Allow yourself to get bored in some of your newly created “Free Time”. Don’t look at your phone or tablet and don’t try to do anything. Just listen, observe and reflect.

Always remember that we are Human Beings and not “Human Doings”. Your life is not about how many things you can accomplish in a day or lifetime. It’s about the attention and value you bring to each moment. It’s also about the Awesome memories you create so that when you look back on your life, you can say, I truly lived well even if I wasn’t always doing something every single hour of the day.

How To Succeed At Life By Playing Golf

September 15, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

I played a round of golf yesterday with three friends and had a great time. We had great weather even though the forecast was for rain and high winds. Little did my friends know that I was secretly watching their game closely and making notes about how they were playing compared to the last time I played with them.

One friend was trying a new technique for his swing and was very inconsistent compared to his ordinarily impressive performance. The other was playing “military golf”; right, left, right, left. The other friend was more consistent but would “duff” about 25% of his shots.

And then there was me. Of course, I was lenient in judging myself, but my score at the end was pleasing—nothing to brag about but certainly one worthy of my respect.

I scored a glorious 97, a score that I have been able to reproduce more consistently lately. My next goal is to break 90. In my mind, I know I can do it. I see myself in that picture, and I will get there if I follow the advice I will lay out for you.

If you don't play golf, know that there are 18 holes that you challenge in a game of golf, and the idea is to finish your hole in the fewest shots per hole. The accumulated shots after 18 holes are your score. Breaking 100 is a sign of good things, and being over that means you are still working on your skills and consistency.

But as with anything, there are always a few other ingredients that need to be added to get the results you are after. For example, if skill and consistency were all you needed, then the game of golf or even life would be dominated by a few people and rarely would new people emerge as champions.

Again, for those who don’t follow golf, rarely do you see one person win every championship because they go from hot to cold in the areas that we will dive into.

To play golf well and to play life well, I believe you need three things plus one added ingredient.

The added ingredient is what I mentioned earlier in this article.

Can you guess what it is? I will wait a few seconds for you to answer. Great answer; you are right; you need a positive self-image. You need to see yourself as a good golfer!

The other three things are Skill, Focus and Smart Play.

The game of golf involves “skill," and to be a good golfer, you need to learn four different kinds of shots. These are your first shot off the tee called the "drive"; your second shot from the fairway, aptly named the "fairway shot," the third shot to land on to the green where the flag and hole is, called a "pitch" or a "chip" and finally "putting" the ball into the hole.

There are "hazards" between these shots like trees, ponds, rivers, and sand bunkers. On top of that, you need to keep your shots out of "woods." If you "slice" too much or "hook" too much, you will be so out of bounds that you have to take a penalty of adding an extra stroke because you will never find that ball you so wildly "sliced" or "hooked."

In other words, you need to learn how to play different shots, and each of these four shots has its distinct nuances in terms of skill mastery.

A lot like life, if you might agree. Life has to be played with some measure of skill. You need a vast repertoire of skills to play the game well, especially when obstacles appear at the most inconvenient moments.

As for “focus," those of you who do play the game will know that I am referring to keeping your mind on your shot.

Shot by shot by shot.

You need to execute your shot with the proper technique, rhythm, grip, ball position and stance width, to name a few. If you make a bad shot, you need to let that go and play your next shot.

You can't let one shot ruin your mindset, and or one or two bad holes cause you to become angry or discouraged.

You need to relax and let it go and regroup immediately and play your next shot.

The key to focus when it comes to golf is that you have to hold your focus for the entire game. Sure, you might be focused on several holes, but you need to keep it intensely for all shots and all 18 holes.

Only then will you give yourself a chance to play your personal best. Again, in life, you may see the parallel. Hold your focus, not just be focused on your life and its goals.

Now I come to "smart-play." When I played, little did my friends know that I had just watched a YouTube channel called Golf Mates. There are two hosts on the channel, Liam and "OMP," an 80-year-old Scotsman named Old Man Pat. These guys are endearing as they are loveable and helped me out yesterday big time. The episode I watched is right here:

https://youtu.be/uCJjGYp0JAQ

In the game of golf, you will be tempted to make a hero shot when a sensible shot would help you score better. Similarly, in life, you know, and I know that the well-considered and rational approach can often get you the results you seek so you avoid "hazards."

Likewise, in golf, some techniques will improve your results and score.

You will find this to be pure gold: to sink more putts, OMP suggests that you find a spot along your putting line close to the ball and aim at it versus aiming only at the hole. This little tip helps, especially on longer putts, because it sends the ball along the right line. If executed with skill, your ball will get very close to the hole if not in the hole. At worst, you need to tap it in for a two-putt and avoid the score-wrecking and dreaded three or four putts.

Whether you play the game of golf or you play the game of life, you may like to consider the following:

Action Plan:

Begin with the positive self-image that you seek. See yourself as a good golfer; see yourself winning at life.

Skills and skill training make a difference. Identify a good teacher or model the success of someone you admire for the skills you wish to acquire and short-cut your success. Stop bumping around in a dark room. Turn on the light switch.

Focus is everything. Holding your focus is priceless. If you can't focus, you are going to be frustrated in golf and life.

Get into a “smart-play” frame of mind. Learn the nuances and the simple but overlooked ideas that get you from point A to point B with effortless ease.

My wish for you is to break 100, then 90, then 80 and even 70! Even if you don't play golf, you can better relate to how life and golf are intertwined. So go out there and live your most awesome life!

How To Steer Your Inner Thoughts

September 7, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Everyone experiences that "inner conversation" during their waking hours and also while they are sleeping. A zillion thoughts go through our heads. Sometimes the thoughts, or more accurately, the conversation we are having with ourselves, are downright awful, and other times they are genuinely present, lucid, and controlled.

So, the question I pose is, “How do you stop it?”, especially if you are not experiencing positive effects from your inner dialogue?

The short answer is you most likely can't stop it. This thinking process is constant and very natural. It cannot be stopped much like a beam of light from a star zooming through space and time. It just keeps traveling forward. However, you can control light to make it go around objects, and the same is true for the thoughts in your mind.

They say analogies help a person to understand complex ideas, so here’s an analogy for you. Think of your mind as a car, a fantastic car that gets you comfortably to your destination and lets you enjoy the ride. This is of course true only if you drive with care and maintain your car so it’s tuned up. Imagine what would happen if your car had a faulty steering wheel and brakes. Would you be able to accurately or safely make turns? Would you have a comfortable ride down the highway or even your local streets? What about slowing down or stopping when you needed to?

Every car needs to be controlled by its driver using its steering wheel and brakes. Similarly, every mind needs to be controlled using its version of steering and brakes. You must not let your mind race around all day like an out-of-control car that is going to crash into things and people. Don't let your mind run continuously as well because, just like a car, your mind will burn out. This is simply a wrong way to live. It is a bad habit, just like any other bad habit you know you need to drop.

The controlled and tuned-up mind is a beautiful place to live and move around in. However, the mind that is the servant is way better than the mind that becomes a cruel master!

Below are a few things you can do to flip the switch and take control of your inner car.

Action Steps:

1. Resolve to leave the bad habit of allowing your mind to run on or behave like a car without a properly functioning steering wheel.

2. Model success. Study the lives of people past and present who lived beautiful lives because they mastered their minds and tuned their thoughts on a daily basis.

3. Check in with your thoughts every few hours, especially if they put you into a negative state. Are they correct about your reality and the direction you are actually heading? Correct your steering to get back on the proper path for you.

Well, I hope this short commentary with some practical suggestions was helpful. Don't worry too much about stopping a beam of light or bad thoughts. Instead, check your mental steering, brakes, and change lanes when needed. Drive Safely!

How Baby Steps Become Awesome Outcomes

September 1, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once. Yet, you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Tiny, repeated efforts will get you there.” Marc & Angel Chernoff

You’ve probably heard this before. Doing a little bit of something consistently adds up over time to become something very significant. I personally love this concept and have adopted it in my own life such as eating something healthy each day, some exercise done every 2-3 hours, and a little reading each day. Ideas like this take the intimidation factor and excuses away. I’m also regular in my spiritual practice each day. We’ve all said things like, “I don’t have the time to read a whole book” or “I don’t have the energy to work out for 30 minutes or more” and “I am too busy to practice mindfulness or think about my spiritual wellbeing”. Why not shorten the commitment for each of these things? For example, just 5 minutes of reading each day or 5 minutes of exercise on the hour, every hour from 8 am to 3 pm, done 5-6 days a week? Taking the first 10 minutes each day to be grateful, thoughtful, and reflect on your faith is also possible for everyone. Surely, we can all spare a few minutes each day to improve ourselves!

Think about what you are resisting or avoiding because of an excuse like those mentioned above. Consider what it will be like to finally finish that great book you haven’t started yet. What about that health transformation in the next 3-6 months that you sincerely desire but haven’t done anything about? Take the time now to map out how you are going to incorporate a little bit of reading each day and a maximum of 30 minutes of daily exercise spread out over 3-6 hours in a day. All of these kinds of small steps taken each day will accumulate over time just like investing small amounts of money consistently in some kind of financial tool. The one big difference is that investing your time and energy into good things, even when they are small amounts each time, ALWAYS gives you positive results in the long run. This cannot be said for all financial instruments or assets which always come with a disclaimer of the potential loss. There is no loss to your small or large daily practices performed with a growth mindset and focus on refinement.

Make the best investment you will ever make - the small but consistent investment in your health, education, and spiritual being! That’s how you reach Awesome!

Back to The School of Awesome!

August 25, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

It’s nearly September and for many students, that means school is starting up again after the summer break. You should always be prepared to return to the School of Awesome whether you are currently in school or have long since graduated from an advanced degree, or somewhere in between. You have probably taken some time off to enjoy summer activities and free time. Now it’s time to return to your education/training for the rest of your life.

I personally like and endorse the idea of Lifelong Learning which means that School is never ‘over’ for me. I’m always learning formally through courses and on the job training or, on my own through personal study and tinkering with some technology. I find this keeps me sharp and curious as well as happy.

People need to keep exploring and wondering about the world around them and the overall universe to make sense of things in their own lives. By constantly learning, thinking and playing with ideas in your own head, you can ensure that you are always staying fresh and current in your life.

Get your pencils sharpened and your notebooks organized to start taking classes again. The School of Awesome is always open and waiting for you!

How To Develop Your Warrior Mindset

August 18, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”

Archilochus

Thankfully, most of us are not involved in actual military conflicts or physical battles during the week. Hopefully, we can avoid this for the rest of our lives as well. So why talk about being a “Warrior”? There is a benefit from learning what the Warrior traditions have to teach us and how to apply those things to our everyday lives. The alternative is to spend your life as a “Worrier” fearing everything and everyone because you don’t know how to handle situations. Let me share.3 simple ways you can “WIN the “battles” of everyday life and become a Warrior.

First, have a very compelling reason to live your life and spend your energy the way you do each day. Make every day a disciplined day of purpose and action that is fulfilling your mission in life. This will prevent you from just trying to ‘get through’ the day or ‘surviving’ another workday, etc. Make the days count and they will be more enjoyable.

Second, prepare for and expect difficulty, challenges, obstacles, and even temporary failures. Rehearse some common or expected challenges in your mind and how you can manage the situation if they occur. This inoculates you to some of the shock and sadness when you actually face this setback. It also prepares you to respond and recover more quickly.

Third, develop your confidence by getting things done early in the day and challenging yourself over time. When you complete simpler tasks early and work to achieve harder tasks over time, you feel better about yourself and can be proud of yourself. Having constantly challenging projects to work on and learn from prevents you from becoming too comfortable with your current abilities and helps you stretch so you are always improving even if it is just 1% each week. You need to be challenged regularly so you know how strong and capable you really are.

Many people want to just enjoy a comfortable life without worrying about the future or doing hard things. They think everything will be ‘fine’ if they don’t think about what could go wrong and plan for it. Such people are usually the first to be shocked and often lose hope in themselves as well as the world when something does take an unexpected turn. Your physical, mental and emotional well-being depends on you developing your inner WARRIOR so you are alert, prepared and constantly improving your skills.

How Important Is Purpose In Your Life?

August 11, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

So here we are some 16 months since the world became engulfed in a massive global change. Life is indeed different and will likely be on a new path from now on. That said, we all are doing our best to adjust and carry on with the business of living life.

Along the way, we have likely had some serious self-reflection about what matters most to us. We have probably thought about how we should spend our days and moments to live our most Awesome Life.

In other words, more than ever before, we were asked by life to answer the question:

“What is the purpose of your life?”

What is the answer for you?

I bet that today is a great time to visit or revisit this question because the benefits to your life are too significant to ignore.

About six years ago, we published our book Awesome Life, on Amazon. The subtitle is Create The Life You Always Wanted And Soar With Purpose. A good life comes from having a purpose, just like the hero in every story or movie has a mission. As self-evident as this concept may be, we can all use a reminder, especially in times like these.

Don’t forget, you are the hero in the story of your life!

Having a purpose in life might just be the missing piece of the puzzle. But, as said by Dr. Alan Zimmerman, author of Pivot, "the purpose of life is a life of purpose."

My takeaway from this message is that life is like being on a sailboat where the wind causes the boat to move in a specific direction. However, the rudder is a crucial component of the sailboat. Like having a purpose, it allows you to take the circumstances of life (the wind) and manipulate the direction you want to go (purpose in life).

Your purpose in life is your rudder on the sailboat of life!

With purpose, you will have two outstanding benefits that will set you on the course of an Awesome Life:

1. A life with direction

2. A life with meaning

And you know what else? Having a purpose in life will cover 97% of all the other things you try to do well daily! It will cover achieving your goals, attaining happiness, cultivating a winner's mindset, fostering excellent relationships, spiritual connection to your Creator, helping your fellow man, and even make you a better person!

That's a lot of knock-on effect, wouldn't you say?

So here is a plan to help you answer or reinvent the purpose of your life:

Action Steps:

1. Make yourself a cup of tea and sit down with your journal and give yourself a good one hour of quiet time to think and brainstorm some ideas.

2. Then, at the top of your page, write down "My Purpose In Life."

3. Now make two columns, one that says "Things I can do for myself" and the other "Things I can do for others."

4. Start writing things as they come to your mind under each column, and don't judge them. Let the ideas flow.

5. Look at what starts to pop out at you as exciting, not just enjoyable, from the completed lists.

6. Circle the ones that you really like and do the next step: Write down your Awesome Life Purpose: ALP

7. Here is a template for your consideration:

My life’s purpose consists of (your list of things you might do for others)

I also make my life’s purpose (your list of things you will do for yourself)

When I live my life with purpose, I feel (write down the emotions you will achieve and state of mind you will be in by living your life with purpose).

Here is an example:

“My life's purpose consists of being helpful to my family and friends. I also make it my life's purpose to improve my skills in my work life and personal life. When I live my life with purpose, I feel happy and motivated.”

Perhaps now more than ever, we can all benefit from thinking about the purpose of our life.

The benefits of having direction and meaning in life are genuinely too big to ignore.

If you are feeling rudderless, go make that cup of tea. If you know someone who might need to read this article, please share it with them.

Be Awesome, and may all your life be filled with purpose!

What Feeds Your Soul?

August 4, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

Are you taking care of your spiritual side? I’m not talking about practicing a religion in some ritualistic way. I’m asking you what care and feeding are you giving to your soul. You innermost person that wears this flesh and bone body on this journey called life? What are you doing about that part of you which does not die when this body is buried and broken down to be absorbed back into the earth?

Ask yourself what you believe about that eternal part of you and what does it need? What should you be doing to take care of your soul? Maybe you should follow some religious customs such as daily prayers, occasional fasting and charity. If possible, you should gather with other like-minded spiritual people and talk about this life, it’s meaning and your beliefs about the next life. Have good conversations with people you trust and share perspectives. This will be good for your life in this world as well as give you a glimpse of things that are good for the soul in the life beyond. Take the time and nourish your spiritual side.

What About Life Before Death?

July 28, 2021 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill

There was this farmer who always won the best corn prize in his county fair year after year. What was his secret? He did something that surprised the reporter of the local TV station who asked this very question.

The farmer replied he gave all his neighbours his foundation seeds to also have good corn crops that were robust and tasty. The reporter, a little surprised, asked, why would you do that? Why would the farmer be giving his best seeds to his competition?

The farmer said that might be, but it works best in all our interests because the wind blows the pollen from the corn across farms. The cross-pollination of good seeds affects all farmers in a beneficial way. The better one farmer’s corn is, the better all of the corn becomes. In other words, the farmer understood that if he is to do well, he must help his neighbours to do well also.

This story reminds me of this verse in the Holy Quran about corn:
The similitude of those who spend their wealth for the cause of Allah is like the similitude of a grain of corn which grows seven ears, in each ear a hundred grains. And Allah multiplies it further for whomsoever He pleases; and Allah is Bountiful, All-Knowing. ⎯The Holy Quran, Chapter 2 verse 262

The wealth we have to share is not just money. It can be many things including our time, our experience, and our advice. The rewards that we get could be in the future or even in the present through a life well-lived and a feeling of personal contentment. This is the ‘wealth’ that keeps growing in your life like a healthy cornfield.

So here is the takeaway.

This lesson of life illustrated by the corn farmer allows us to really live before we die through generosity of spirit and attitude.

The essence of a life well-lived is to have helped others around us, whether by a smile, spending time to give them company or encouragement, spending in the way of the less fortunate, building relationships, or just building people. The possibilities are infinite!

The clock of life is ticking by for all of us. The final moment is never known. This is why we need to live before we die. It’s natural to think about life after death but what about life before death?

How might you define it for yourself?

Take some time out today to answer that fundamental question and make your remaining days really matter!

Action Steps:

On a piece of paper, write the question down. What matters most to me for my life to be lived before I die?
Then, do some brainstorming and write down any answers that pop into your mind under that heading. Look at that list and see what you feel inspired to focus on.
Edit your list to make a final list full of the most inspiring ideas you will try to live out!

Just like an ear of corn contains within it a field of corn, you too are filled with an ability to multiply the good in your life and the lives of many others. This just might be the secret of a good life before you die. What say you?