How to Foster Character, Values, and Resilience in Your Child
By Ahsan
By understanding the lessons of life, we often wish we had learned those lessons earlier and perhaps differently.
As parents, we do everything we can to ensure our children’s lives are happy and comfortable. It’s natural to want to protect our kids from life's uncertainties, often passing on our own hard-earned lessons along the way.
However, wouldn’t it be more beneficial if we equipped our children with the tools to navigate life on their own?
Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and bestselling author, emphasizes that parents can play a crucial role in building character and values by asking thoughtful questions and guiding their children through reflection.
This approach promotes resilience, self-awareness, and responsibility in children.
Below is a summary of Morin's key questions, the principles behind them, and additional concepts from other experts in the field.
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Key Questions from Amy Morin:
1. What did you learn from this experience?
- Example Insight Question: What was a recent situation you faced that taught you something new?
2. What could you do differently next time?
- Example Insight Question: Can you think of an action you took that you might change in the future?
3. What went well, and what could be improved?
- Example Insight Question: Reflect on a recent project or task. What aspects do you feel proud of, and what could be better next time?
4. Is this a true or blue thought? (Is it based on facts or feelings?)
- Example Insight Question: When you feel stressed or anxious, can you identify if your feelings are grounded in fact?
5. How did your actions affect others?
- Example Insight Question: Think about a recent interaction with a friend; how do you think your words affected them?
6. What are your family’s values, and how did you live up to them today?
- Example Insight Question: What family value do you feel was important to reflect on today?
7. What would you do if you faced this situation again?
- Example Insight Question: Imagine a difficult choice; how would you approach it differently?
8. How can you solve this problem on your own?
- Example Insight Question: What steps can you take to address a challenge you're currently facing?
9. What are you grateful for today?
- Example Insight Question: Name a person or experience that made you feel thankful today.
10. What are your strengths, and how did you use them?
- Example Insight Question: Identify a strength you demonstrated this week and how you applied it.
Operating Principles Behind the Questions
Encourage Reflection:
Thought-provoking questions prompt critical thinking about actions, decisions, and feelings, enhancing self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
Key Question Example: “What did you learn from this experience?”
Promote Responsibility:
Questions that address consequences help children develop accountability and empathy.
Key Question Example: “How did your actions affect others?”
Build Resilience:
Focusing on learning from mistakes fosters a growth mindset that acknowledges failures as stepping stones to growth.
Key Question Example: “What could you do differently next time?”
- Strengthen Values:
Discussing family values reinforces integrity, honesty, and kindness in children's daily lives.
Key Question Example: “What are your family’s values, and how did you live up to them today?”
Develop Problem-Solving Skills:
Encouragement to contemplate solutions fosters independence.
Key Question Example: “How can you solve this problem on your own?”
Enhance Emotional Intelligence:
Exploring feelings helps children manage their emotions, which in turn improves relationships and decision-making.
Key Question Example: “Is this a true or blue thought?”
Foster Gratitude and Positivity:
Questions that promote gratitude lead to a healthier perspective and appreciation for life’s blessings.
Key Question Example: “What are you grateful for today?”
Guide rather than Protect:
Instead of shielding children from difficulties, guide them to navigate challenges and learn from experiences.
Key Question Example: “What would you do if you faced this situation again?”
Conclusion
As you reflect on these approaches, consider how applying these principles can also benefit you in your own life.
Be your own best advisor and confidante!
Life will always be unpredictable, but using the power of self-reflection through thoughtful questioning can help foster resilience and well-being.
Embrace this journey, and remember that guiding principles can empower both you and your children to thrive despite the uncertainties of life!
I am confident that if we implement the ideas you just read, our personal and professional lives will improve, and our impact on the lives of our children will surpass our greatest hopes and dreams for them.
Have An Awesome Day!
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