The Magic of Living Better Not Just Living Longer

May 10, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in a magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.”

Poem by Jack London featured in James Bond, “No Time to Die” movie

Many people are talking about life extension, longevity, and living beyond 100 years old. Few are talking about living better lives with the time we have. Life is not something to merely stretch out but a process to learn, adjust, and enjoy the time we have been given. No one knows for certain how many birthdays are left and everyone will likely say they want to ‘live longer’ but I believe they really want to Live Better.

Well-Being should be our focus in life and all efforts should be aligned on this goal.

Living well and being happy as you age is about some key principles. Three of these are: Being in the Present Moment, Having a Healthy Mind and Body, and Living with Purpose.

Being Present in daily tasks and considering all time as valuable. Brushing teeth, preparing kids for school, taking public transit somewhere, doing groceries, etc. are all mundane parts of our daily routine and can be enjoyable if we pay attention.

Having a Healthy Mind and Body is not negotiable. No one enjoys any day they are sick or tired, or suffering from anxiety. Self-care to manage mental health as well as being physically fit is required to live well. Two to Three Strength Training sessions each week and regular walks will benefit everyone. Mobility or stretching as well as breathing exercise go a long way to achieve all that is needed every day to relax and improve blood flow. Digestion, sleep, and mood also get better with these habits.

Knowing your BIG WHY or reason for living is a fundamental part of the Well Being Formula. You need to be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish as a big life goal or a handful of goals (no more than 3) for the rest of your lives. Writing this down and reviewing it daily sets our internal guidance system so we just spend each day “Driving” a little closer to our destination instead of figuring out what we are supposed to do and what the meaning of life is. Talk with family and make sure everyone is aligned on things that matter. This will help to get them on board to either support your Life Purpose or even make it part of their own!

Making the years longer and celebrating more birthdays would be Awesome for most people but what’s even better is to make the best use of the time we have. To live with purpose, presence, and vitality each day knowing that we may not have another one, is how we truly Live Awesome!

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Is Your Life Meaningless Or Magical?

May 3, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

I came across a quote by Franz Kafka, a novelist who said,

“The meaning of life is that it ends.”

I thought the quote reminded me to live life to the fullest, which certainly resonates with me. Others feel that this was Kafka’s meaning for his statement.

However, after googling, I discovered that he felt that life was absurd and meaningless.

That got me thinking. Is he right?

Let me add to this thinking about life.

“Life is meaningless, absurd, and random or it can be purposeful, adventurous, and magical; take your pick.”⎯Ahsan

I'll be the first to agree that some days seem like a repeat of the last, and boredom can set in. But does that mean life is meaningless or absurd?

Other days are surprisingly fulfilling and leave you with a sense of wonder and gratitude for getting to be alive one more day.

So who and what is responsible for making life magical and magnificent or miserable and meaningless?

Start by looking at the person in the mirror.

Life is what you make it and, more accurately, what you think of it.

We experience life as we think about our circumstances and what is happening to us. When we think well of someone, we feel love or kinship with that person. We feel irritated when we think negatively about a situation like being stuck in traffic. What we think we experience.

So, dear friend, please try to think yourself into a great experience of life.

That’s it. That’s all.

Life is what you think of it, and I have a sneaky suspicion that those who think life is magical are doing life much better than those who knowingly or unwittingly pontificate that life is meaningless.

So get off the path that leads to meaningless absurdity and stay on the track of purpose and magicalization.

I will try my best too. Have a magical week.

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The Magic of Smiling

April 26, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Have you ever thought about the major benefits of smiling?

Why is it that we smile and is it even useful? I am sure you have gone a whole day without smiling at someone or being smiled at. But what if smiling disappeared from the world? Would it matter?

Let me assure you that smiling is an important thing that we cannot lose. I would even say that it is more valuable than gold and as important to the functioning of life on Earth as water, air, or sunshine.

Allow me to make my case with the following poem given to me by an old friend named Paul.

Smiles

Perhaps you never stop to think

How much a smile can do.

A smile can make a moment bright,

Or help a dream come true.

A smile is like a priceless gift

That can be passed along;

It makes a burden lighter, too,

And often rights a wrong.

A smile can say “I understand,”

Or simply, “I’m your friend.”

A sincere smile can sometimes bring

A quarrel to an end.

A smile cannot be bought or sold,

Or lost, or thrown away.

So why not keep some smiles on hand

To share, day after day!

If you analyze the poem, you will see that smiles do the following things that bring light to our lives:

They celebrate moments.

They put you in a positive state of mind that is conducive to achieving your goals.

They are a gift to be given with a never-ending supply.

They can alleviate stress and hardships.

They can make peace.

They convey empathy and sympathy.

They signal the type of person you are.

They can end war.

They cost nothing and are yet invaluable.

They are abundant and always around us.

They should be valued, treasured and shared.

So dear friend, take note of how smiling is magical and something to appreciate.

In fact, go forth boldly today knowing you have found a universal gift that will enrich you.

Please be sure to like and share this idea of smiling with all those you come into contact with each day! ☺

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Ramadhan and The Benefits of Doing Hard Things

April 19, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

The Muslim holy month of Ramadhan is coming to a close and I have learned to appreciate the life lessons from daily fasting that span the time just before Dawn to Sunset each day. It was definitely challenging and no two days were exactly the same for me. Being hard rather than easy was the point of the month. Beyond the spiritual aspect, we have a human element related to being difficult for our own benefit. But why do hard things make us better human beings?

We have lots of conveniences and comfort in life. Some would say that we have too much of it and have become soft or ‘fragile’ societies. The antidote is to inject some toughness and challenges into our lives to remind us what that feels like and how great it feels to do hard things. There’s no better satisfaction that compares to working hard to achieve something. True fulfillment in life comes after accomplishing a series of hard things over and over again.

Doing hard work frequently makes people more immune to and tolerant of daily stressors in life so we develop patience, perspective, and practical ways of living. If we only did easy things and always got our way, we would become like little children who often cry when things frustrate them or they are told “No”. There is no good reason for an adult to behave like a spoiled child. Ever!

The best part of challenging yourself such as daily fasting, focusing on prayers, and shunning materialistic things for some length of time is the human transformation you experience. A person who frequently does hard things regularly changes into a stronger and more capable person as part of the journey. There is no end to the life-changing benefits of living a challenging life with some trials and hardships woven in there whether it’s intentional or unexpected. Human beings are capable of so much mental, spiritual, and even physical growth in terms of becoming better human beings. So, what hard things do you have planned for this year?

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Unleashing Your Inner Child: How to Have a Fun Day at Any Age

April 12, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Can you recall a particular day when you were a child that was the best day ever?

Was it a day filled with friends playing at the park in the morning, followed by a basketball game in the afternoon, and then going out to have footlong kababs and naans in the evening with your family?

Wouldn’t it be nice to recreate that kind of day every day?

Sometimes our days start to feel like a repetition of the previous day, and we feel like we are driving through a flat stretch of road for hours on end. No scenery, no music to listen to, and no exciting conversations.

That wouldn’t just be boring but cause a person to feel like life is equally flat!

Perhaps, we can break out of this repetitive rut by taking on a mental approach to having a fun day called “Fun With Intention Planning” or FUNTENTION PLANNING.

Introducing: FUNTENTION PLANNING

This is a new and revolutionary method of creating zest and zing in your life!

It requires prompting yourself to think about your day uniquely, generating endless possibilities and the greatest probability of lying in your bed every night thinking, "What a fun day I had!”

You will never have another dull day in your life again.

So here is the template that is required to successfully make Funtention Planning natural and effective:

First, divide your day into its natural parts: Morning, Afternoon and Evening.

Next, for each part of the day, identify and include an activity you will engage in or will be engaging in if it was planned for you. Hey, sometimes you got to visit the in-laws, right?

Finally, think of a way to make that thing you will be doing more fun! I love talking to my mother-in-law, honest!

For example, you might start the morning with an excellent breakfast that you would have anyway, but instead of just eating it in a rush, you add an extra fifteen minutes to sit down and savour your steak and eggs and fresh black coffee.

Eating breakfast can be fun!

In the afternoon, you might have a client meeting, but instead of just going through the motions, you ask them, "What's going well in your life?" Having a meaningful conversation with someone adds colour and dimension to your meeting.

Memorable meetings make things fun.

For the evening, instead of just coming home, rushing through dinner, and watching your show afterward, why not plan an after-dinner walk with your spouse, followed by listening to some relaxing music?

Enjoying some exercise and listening to good music can definitely be fun.

Life should be fun! You don't have to be locked in a replay of rinse-and-repeat days. You don't have to live a flat and boring life. Instead, make the mundane…marvelous.

Funtention Planning is all about dividing and conquering. Divide your day; look at what is possible to enjoy and conquer boredom by adding that “funness” with intention and have a more awesome life.

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Why You Need To Think Better So Can You Achieve Your Goals

April 5, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

I have had many coaches and mentors in my life, but one of them stands out and stands the test of time.

He is the most famous personal development coach and motivator that you can think of.

Can you guess? Who comes to mind?

Of course, the one and only Tony Robbins.

Over the years, I have invested in some of his at-home study materials and heard from him through social media. Most of what I learned through him has been usable and impacted my personal success and achievement in life.

I even have had the unique honour of attending a live presentation of Tony's mentor, the late Mr. Jim Rohn. Being the enthusiastic student that I am, I made notes of that 2-hour speech by Mr. Rohn and have kept them over the last 27 years. Tony's book, “Awaken the Giant Within” was something I read and made notes on over 29 years ago.

The stuff these gentlemen teach is gold, and it works.

But do you know why it works?

What is the key to making it work? Is it taking massive action? Is it about having a great attitude? What about discipline?

Keep thinking.

I will reveal what the key to all this is soon. But for now, let's look at some recent advice I came across from Mr. Robbins.

The gist of what I read was that to achieve the greatness in life that you seek, you should challenge and overcome your limiting beliefs. You should face your fears and see how that way of thinking impacts you negatively and your mindset for success. It would be best to shift your perspective on what meaning you give to things in life. And that you should change your self-talk by changing your internal language and beginning your day with positive affirmations. And that getting a coach will be one of the most effective ways to change your mindset.

I can’t argue with any of the points above. How about you?

It all makes sense to me.

But why is it going to work? What is the operating principle behind this magical stuff that Tony rightfully guides us to?

It is simply this. Your reality and the experience you have of life are constantly and consistently coming from one source: your thinking.

We are thinking beings. Your gift of thinking enables you to challenge your limiting beliefs, face your fears, shift your perspective, and change your self-talk and mindset.

You do what you think. You feel what you think. You act or don’t act based on what you think, your attitude comes from your thinking, and your discipline can also be traced to your thinking.

Here is the operating principle to living an awesome life: Think Thoughtfully!

Just follow these 3 rules:

Know that you were given a gift from your Creator: the gift of thinking.
Use your thinking as a gift that it was designed to be.
Become consciously aware that whatever you are doing, not doing, feeling, or achieving is 100% coming from your thinking.

Thoughts are responsible for our emotions and behaviours. Our environment and situations are not the sources of our reality; rather, our thinking about our environment and situations is. Positive and constructive thoughts eliminate fear, shift perspective and change limiting beliefs.

Your entire life up to this point and until you leave this world is and will be based on your thinking.

You may as well get comfortable with the idea that you have the power to change your thoughts. This will awaken the giant within you like nothing else.

Personal growth and transformation are possible by managing and influencing your thinking!

I hope you think what I am saying makes sense. You don't have to just believe me, but please spend time thinking about it and see for yourself!

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3 Powerful Life Lessons From The Month of Ramadhan

March 29, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

The Muslim month of Ramadhan started last week and for over a Billion Muslims, this is a very spiritual time of the year. The communal prayers, fasting, and charitable giving are common themes shared by all Muslims around the world. There are at least 3 life lessons I have learned in this holy month and I’m going to share how everyone can benefit from these regardless of whether you are a Muslim or not. Consider these the literal equivalent of 3 juicy dates to break your fast today.

The first important lesson is “Less is More”. As we observe fasting from before dawn to local sunset time, we realize how to survive on less food, water, sleep, and free time. We understand the benefit of quality food and having space in our calendar for fewer but more meaningful things like contemplation about our spiritual life. Muslims are instructed to give up bad habits and shun entertainment as well as vain discussions. This allows us to find what is meaningful in life. This elimination of unnecessary thoughts and activities helps the believer realize what is truly essential and how to return to these things whenever we need to.

The second important lesson is made possible after the first one. It’s the ability to go deep in study to focus on something. For practicing Muslims, the study of the Holy Quran and participation in additional congregational prayers allows for greater spiritual understanding and brotherhood. In a distracted world with so many things competing for our attention, we’ve lost the ability to go deep in thought and actually study anything in great detail. By taking the time each day to read, contemplate, and integrate knowledge into our daily life, we become wiser and happier.

The third important lesson we should all learn in Ramadhan is compassion for others. By experiencing this voluntary hardship of hunger, thirst, and disturbance in sleep, we should develop an understanding of what other people of the world are going through. The ability to empathize with the poor, the sick, and those suffering from various mental issues should encourage us to behave better in society. Muslims are encouraged to give more to charity as well as volunteer their time on a regular basis. Everyone can develop more consideration for fellow human beings if we just remember what struggles and pain we have faced in life. We should feel connected to everyone else and live in a way that benefits society as much as possible.

So there you have it. Ramadhan is not just about staying away from food and drink during daylight hours or having big feasts with family and friends at sunset. There are powerful life lessons about what is truly essential, how to focus attention, and the ways we are all connected. To our Muslim readers, we say Ramadhan Mubarak! To all of the rest of you, we wish you a purposeful, prosperous, and pious life.

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52 Awesome Life Lessons Learned So Far

March 21, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

I will be celebrating 52 years of age this year. That’s 52 successful turns around the Sun and all the birthdays marking the blessings of being alive one more year. I have learned a number of valuable things with the passage of time and I’m going to share these with you. I’m sure many points will resonate with you because these ideas are all part of our shared human journey.

1. Quality is more important than quantity.

2. The biggest regrets in life are about the things not done and the time not spent with loved ones.

3. Travelling is life-changing and is the best use of time and resources.

4. Self Discipline is powerful and more important than motivation or being pushed by someone else.

5. Other people’s thoughts about me are much less important than what I think about myself.

6. Ordinary people trying their best with what they have are the real heroes in life.

7. The purpose of life is about living a life of purpose.

8. We don’t choose our genetics, background, or entry into the world but we have a lot of power over our growth, decisions, and our journey through this world.

9. Age, weakness, and death are all parts of life rather than something to fight against. Accept and embrace your mortality.

10. The Purpose of Higher Education is to learn how to learn and then apply things. It’s not about the Degree and all about the skill of gaining knowledge. The purpose is to become wiser as well as aware of the limits of our own knowledge.

11. Say NO to many things and make space in the calendar for the right things to say YES to. This becomes most important when you are married and have children.

12. It’s better to seek a peaceful and fulfilling life rather than a vague notion of momentary happiness.

13. Enduring stress and rare moments of suffering can positively transform a person. Passing through these moments can be a great way to become the next best version of yourself.

14. Luck truly is when Opportunity, Consistency, and Hard Work line up for a successful outcome. Do your part of the work and you will keep experiencing good luck.

15. Deep attachment to things is a weakness that will be exploited by others and will result in mental suffering.

16. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually is not a luxury but a necessity that benefits every part of life.

17. There are seasons in life with different priorities, adventures, responsibilities, and sacrifices. Fully Enjoy each season and don’t wish you were in another one because that is self-inflicted pain you don’t need.

18. It’s more important to understand and create systems for success. This is better than performing a bunch of habits or learning a variety of facts.

19. A few good friends that you keep in touch with for decades are better than 100+ followers on social media. You will likely never spend any time with those who follow you online.

20. Writing things down clears up the mind and reduces stress. It also helps to remember and learn things better.

21. Anger is normal but should be controlled and managed because just like a fire, it can destroy people and things when it’s used as a weapon.

22. The Story in life is more important than the raw facts or information about something. Ask yourself what is the narrative you are telling yourself as you go through a life experience.

23. Collect memories, experiences, and photos of the life you have lived. These are more important than money, fame, and Social Media Likes.

24. If you cannot make time for big things, try to break them down into smaller chunks to manage resources.

25. Use humour in your day. Find the funny in life and you will enjoy yourself more.

26. Give sincere praise regularly. Make it a habit to say Thank You to people often. Even if it is for small acts of human kindness you experience each day.

27. Try to figure out how much one hour of your attention is worth and never waste it or accept less “pay” than you deserve.

28. Find at least 5 people that are motivated and capable of positive life changes so you can be friends with them. Help each other reach their full potential in life.

29. Review your mistakes, failures, and near misses at success. Analyze what went wrong so you can avoid the same mistakes next time.

30. Of the many virtues in life, Courage, Wisdom, Temperance, and Justice are some of the best to keep in mind at all times.

31. There is a benefit to moving fast and adjusting the course as you go. There is also a benefit to proper planning before a journey and estimating the hurdles before you face them.

32. Tactics and Strategies are both important in life. Don’t ignore either one of these.

33. Do good things and then move on to the next good deed. Don’t dwell on what you have done for others.

34. Manners, principles, discipline, and kindness go a long way in human relationships so make them part of your character.

35. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you from your situation. You have to be the hero of your own life through the right conduct and wisdom.

36. Expect resistance, friction, and general twists in the plot. You will be less frustrated in life and can plan for ways to handle things better when you face these hurdles.

37. Plant seeds of kindness and good deeds often. Don’t expect anything in return.

38. Spend time with very young people as well as the very senior members of society. Look into their eyes and imagine and try to see the world through their eyes to help you tune your own perspective.

39. Read contrarian information that is not aligned with what you know or believe to see what it may have to offer about a given topic. Maybe you will strengthen your own beliefs or perhaps, you will change your mind about something.

40. Always look for ways to educate yourself on the job and in your own personal time. Take advantage of free courses and training subsidized by your employer or some government agency.

41. Be a Mentor to those younger than you or those with less experience. Freely give of your time and experience on a regular basis.

42. Seek mentors who can help you get to the next level of your personal or professional journey. Don’t try to do it all alone.

43. Find ways to have great experiences each year by stepping back from work and life routines. Change up your schedule for 1 week or a full month and explore a different place or culture.

44. Audit your inputs ranging from physical items to digital media and cut down all of these by 10%. Do another audit in 6 months and reduce everything by another 10%.

45. Make space in your closet, car, and life for expansion and growth but don’t immediately try to fill the void. Enjoy the empty space your created for a while. Be selective about what you put in each aspect of your life and make it intentional.

46. Do a little more than what is expected of you on a regular basis and you will stand out. Most people are not even doing what they committed to doing so anyone who regularly does a little more than what is required is the one others will be attracted to.

47. Remember you cannot please everyone so pick your audience and serve them to the best of your ability.

48. Becoming a parent is hard. It’s not supposed to be an easy job so respect the challenge and step up to do your best every day. That’s what children deserve from us.

49. Traditions and trends are important but shouldn’t become dogma or ‘policy’ in your life. Know the difference between what is required and what is handed down as a cultural practice.

50. You will never stop learning lessons in life so never imagine you are ‘done’ or have achieved a state of perfect wisdom. There’s always room to learn and refine your knowledge some more.

51. Expect to lose important people and precious things and give thanks each day that you still have them. This will prevent you from becoming ungrateful and complacent about what matters in life.

52. Life is Short so you might as well Live Awesome!

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7 Awesome Things I Learned From Pickleball

March 15, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

“There are those who play Pickleball and those who live Pickleball. They are not the same.” Ahsan Khan

I came to Pickleball out of curiosity and a love for challenging myself to learn something new.

A few clients mentioned they were playing the sport. One person mentioned how she and her husband were having so much fun, and the other said, "it saved my life!" He had recently retired and had gone through a difficult life situation.

So off I went to research the game and landed at the Richmond Hill Pickleball Club.

So far, here are 7 things I have learned, and you might too:

Overcoming Doubt: That I…me…could learn a new sport at this advanced age. Learning the scoring system and watching my feet at the kitchen line has added numerous neural pathways to my brain.

How To Make Friends and Dink People: I get to meet new people every week and share a laugh, words of encouragement, and a mutual desire to beat our opponents across the net. When called, my partner and I are ready to drink, smash, volley, and bang.

Discovering That I Can Be Present: When I play, time not only flies but I am totally thinking about my shot-making, what the score is, where my feet are, what dastardly trick my opponent is trying on me, and all my cares of the world seem to disappear.

That My Body Needs More Attention: To be honest, I initially thought this game for "older folk" is so easy, so non-physical, a walk in the park. First off, I have been schooled by plenty of 70-plus grandmothers and felt the aches for 2 days straight. So now I am stretching and doing weight training to fight the sarcopenia and get an edge. Hehe!

That I Get High On and Off The Court: Once I start playing, there is no time to think about anything other than getting that ball over the net and putting it away! This constant focus adds calming serotonin, and each successful smash or snappy backhand gives thrilling dopamine hits. I also drive home feeling so chill and on top of the hill.

How Not To Dwell On My Mistakes: Hitting out of bounds, missing a serve or dropping your third shot into your side of the net can really bug a person. Hey, I am no saint. I get mad. But I also find myself saying, "next shot Ahsan, dial it in," and other sweet nothings.

That Life Is Not A Rehearsal: In life, you must spend time doing things you love. You never know how long you will be here, so get your game of life going. Hopefully, you also feel that while Pickleball is not our whole life, it makes our life whole!

This list is a work in progress. We’re curious about what lessons you learned from your journey with Pickleball. Email back, and let us all learn together.

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The Future You is All You Need

March 8, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

Peter Drucker

I like the above quote and I’m always curious about what is going to happen. What will happen next in a given news story or world event? What is next for the economy or the climate change patterns? It’s hard to tell and no one really knows for sure. We can model certain events and do a bunch of calculations on supercomputers but we don’t know for sure just like we don’t know the weather beyond a couple of days in the future.

What we do know and have control over is how we plan to meet with the future and what attitude we will have about the way things turn out. We can develop a resilient mindset and flexible position on some possible ways things might unfold so we are not completely surprised. We can also realize that many things are not in our control and never were or will be. Our job is to navigate whatever the situation is with the best knowledge and wisdom we possess. It can be something beautiful and empowering for us all. Just think of yourself as capable, strong, and willing to become the kind of person you need to be whatever tomorrow brings. Be ready for change, growth, and kindness. That’s all you need.

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How To Enjoy Life and Coffee

March 1, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”

Eddie Cantor

Are you truly enjoying life? How about that last cup of coffee you had? Is your life so “go-go” that you forget to enjoy the little things?

We are getting more hectic with our lives. We go from one thing to another; one appointment is made and on to another meeting. On top of that, distractions abound from social media, incoming calls and emails that never end.

So what can a person do?

Slowing down makes perfect sense, but it might not be practical. I'm sorry to break it to you, but our modern age might always be "go-go and hectic!" So the real solution is to change a straightforward thing.

That simple and singular idea is to prioritize enjoyment!

What do you enjoy when you are not on the clock or on the weekend when things slow down? Are you doing those things often enough?

What do you do where time flies, where you feel happy and relaxed and very present? Recall those feelings of calm, engagement, excitement or bliss, if you will. Is it when you play your favourite sport or go to dinner with friends? How about when you sit down with a cup of coffee and a good book? Or go for a hike in the forest on a cool spring morning?

So here is the plan to start enjoying your life:

Make a list of things that float your boat. Try to come up with at least ten things you can honestly say make you feel happy and alive. For example, if you love reading books and are not reading them, then you are not living life to the fullest, are you?

Next, develop the ability to enjoy the things on your list. Let's suppose you enjoy travelling to new places. Are you taking a bunch of pics with your phone, editing them and showing them to your friends when you come back? Oftentimes, you were there, and your camera was there, but you missed out on truly being there. We can all do better at being more conscious and tasting that cup of coffee. Was it hot, fresh and aromatic, or did you miss its flavour and warmth going down to your belly?

Developing the ability to enjoy things is all about being present, smelling the fragrance of a good meal while it's being prepared, and hearing the sounds in the busy bazaar, from the honks of scooters to the chatter of people sipping an espresso at the café. It's not about reading the menu and the description of your entrée but tasting what you ordered.

Finally, understand that your experience in life comes from the state of mind you develop. I'm not talking about a positive state of mind but rather a relaxed state of mind. When you have a relaxed state of mind, you become more observant. You can observe things and yourself with presence. I am sure this relaxed and self-observant state has happened to you many times.

It generally happens when people are on vacation. They are away from the regular grind and indeed present doing or experiencing mundane things like tasting the best coffee ever at the most typical coffee shop.

There is an underlying phenomenon going on here. It is this: your experience of life comes from only one place⎯thought in the moment!

Herein lies a hint at how to have the best cup of coffee ever each and every time you drink coffee and truly enjoy your life.

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Be The Hero of Your Life!

February 22, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag, or boar – and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges? Obviously, he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules. And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?”

Epictetus. Discourses

We all have certain capacities, resources, and challenges in life. Every one of us is constantly facing something that we need to address and sometimes it’s with nothing short of heroic nature that will do the job. For some on the front lines of a crisis, that heroism is called for on a daily basis. Regardless of when or where you are when that cry for help arrives at your ears, you need to respond. You must step up and be there for your family, friends, or community and metaphorically or literally ‘rescue’ them as only you can.

Being a hero is not about a cape or cartoonish muscles. It’s a mindset that includes courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. All of the best virtues of life are found in a true hero. So the obvious first step is to develop as many of these virtues in your life and keep refining them on a regular basis.

The next big part of heroism is to be comfortable with discomfort on occasion and not complain about it to anyone. Heroes in mythology or real life have to struggle to get to where they are and even maintain their status. This is part of the character of legendary people because they can put up with temporary setbacks, annoyances, and pain so they can accomplish their mission in life.

The third key point for your heroic transformation is to be aware of what’s happening around you and what’s coming up around the corner. Where are the opportunities where you can provide great value? Where are potential dangers and hurdles you should avoid along with helping in your circle, avoid so they can stay safe? Become an excellent observer, listener, and meditator on the various information and events you witness each day. Filter the noise and get to what the priority is so you can respond in the best way.

You don’t have to be a mythological demi-God or experience a radio-active insect bite to transform into a great hero in life. You just have to care about your role in life and follow the 3 step approach above with sincerity and discipline. To all the Awesome heroes and future legends in the making, I salute you!

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What's More Important, a Positive attitude Or Positive Thinking?

February 15, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

There are days when everything is going great, and you feel wonderful. What is the key reason behind such amazing days?

It's easy to see why some days are challenging or even miserable, but what makes those awesome days happen when they do?

Most people would point out that when everything is good, I am good. That's a fair assessment. It certainly helps when you get an A on your assignment, get a bonus at work or see your child's face light up when you give them a present.

But then there are times when you get a B, don't get recognized for your efforts, or your spoiled kid says thanks and tosses the new toy onto a pile of other toys. I bet you don't always feel negative when that happens, do you? I bet, I bet!

Something is going on here. However, external happenings are not the source of our feelings.

If things that happen to us are not the root cause of feeling wonderful, then what is?

What about this? When I am good, everything is good.

In other words, your mental frame of mind has something to do with how you feel. That is where people often attribute having a positive attitude to more happiness and success.

Would you argue that having a positive attitude is not the most critical determinant of having wonderful days, even when things are not going to your liking?

It would be an interesting debate if you posed the question to some friends. So may I suggest you do it at your next get-together with friends.

However, I would like to challenge this very acceptable notion. I want to argue that having a positive attitude is helpful as a technique but not the root cause for having wonderful days, happiness in general or a successful life.

The actual generator of those awesome days is not a positive attitude but instead positive thinking.

Even if you say to yourself, “silver-lining” things like getting a B is good feedback, I will study better next time, or getting a bonus is not that important, or maybe my kid is just too tired to show how grateful he is, these so-called positive attitudes are actually your thinking about the situation.

You feel your thinking. What you feel comes from your thinking. You think all day. Everyone thinks. It's the thinking that makes you feel good or bad. Get aware of this phenomenon. Accept this as an indisputable truth, a law like the law of gravity. It only works one way. What you think, you feel.

If you are not feeling optimal, consider that as biofeedback and examine what you are thinking at that moment. Try to catch yourself in the moment. Have that lightbulb go on!

From this awareness (I think into my feelings), you can use "techniques" to shift your thinking.

Helpful techniques like developing a positive attitude by reading positive stories of people who face difficult situations, like Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search For Meaning. Or keeping a gratitude journal and writing all the little things you should be grateful for. Or trying something new for 30 days, like learning a new sport like Pickleball.

Negative thinking with a positive attitude won’t do it.

I rest my case. Positive thinking is more important than a positive mental attitude.

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Take A Step Forward Every Day

February 8, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.”

Zeno

Life can be challenging and it’s been especially so for so many people in the past few years. It seems like there are always more things to do than hours in a day and never enough money in the bank to pay for things. It can be downright overwhelming and I have been there so I can personally relate to all of these feelings.

What can we do about this? Is there any solution or tactic for making it through the day?

Yes, indeed! What has worked for me is the daily ritual of doing the necessary work first and crossing some things off my list one item at a time. Taking one step in each moment to move things a little forward each day. It all adds up and becomes a completed project over time.

The key thing is to determine what is most important and then the next most important, and so on. Find out what the steps to completion are for each task and then start from step 1. Keep moving forward with the steps every day until you are done. It’s important to determine what is optional or nice to do and put that aside for the moment. Focus your time and energy on just doing the important things and you will get the satisfaction of having achieved something every day. Make daily consistent effort your goal and not perfection.

In the end, just realize that you may never be truly “DONE” with everything so don’t stress over it. If you are taking care of yourself and your family while making meaningful progress each day, you are doing well. That’s good enough! Live Awesome!

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Are You Justifiably Upset With Someone?

February 1, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Do you get upset when someone does not do what you expect of them?

Let's say you really wanted someone to appreciate your efforts in making dinner for them, but instead of elaborate praise, all you got was a mere thanks. After all, you spent all last week thinking of the perfect menu, researching the recipes, and toiling for hours on the day of only to get a “thanks?”

All you wanted was an acknowledgment of your effort and a pat on the shoulder. Was that too much to ask for?

Now instead of sitting down to enjoy the moment and great time you envisioned, you are seething underneath and unable to be happy. Your mood is spoiled, and you feign smile after smile the whole night.

How can you avoid this natural feeling of disappointment and upset?

You may need to get in touch with this reality. You, my friend, are a dictator.

A dictator? Yes, a dictator.

But don’t worry, I am a dictator too. We all are.

The weird thing is that we demand people to behave a certain way and often have expectations of them, don't we? And that makes you a demanding dictator with expectations. Kind of like a little child does.

We are like a driver stuck in the mud when we do this. We expect the car to move forward by pressing the gas and find ourselves getting more stuck. On top of that, we also start getting upset. We might even get out of the car, kick the tires, and scream out at the sky, saying, "damn it, why did it rain so much this week?"

When you demand others to behave in a way you expect them to, you are being a dictator, and when you get upset, that is very silly. So now you are a silly dictator or at least childish.

You getting upset is YOU punishing yourself. Because someone did not do what you demanded, you upset yourself by having bitter feelings. Silly? Crazy? If you stop to think about it, we all do this occasionally.

No one intentionally does this: I will make myself upset and ruin my day because you don't do my bidding. And yet, it's done.

So, if you want to enjoy your life and be happy, get in touch with reality and start observing yourself. The only demands you should make are upon yourself, not others.

Are you making unrealistic demands of others? Do you have grand expectations of them? Does the fulfillment of your demands and expectations required to make you happy? If so, drop that way of being and watch as your wheels move you forward.

Keep moving forward; relax, observe yourself, and enjoy the ride.

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Living...and Dying in Service of Something Greater

January 25, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”

Muhammad Ali

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”

Rabindranath Tagore

Everyone is busy doing things and trying to survive at times. Many people spend a lot of time thinking about doing things and worrying about death. A few wise people have things figured out. Life is about service to others which starts with yourself, your family, your community, and humanity as a whole. The best way to live, in my opinion, is to be serving a higher cause.

True satisfaction in life is not getting everything you want as soon as you want and then spending your days on a beach every day. That gets boring after a while so even the richest people in the world have jobs where they aim for something beyond just making more money. They have huge goals and grand visions about what they want to achieve beyond their wealth and also, using their immense wealth.

Whether or not you are a billionaire, you need to have goals and a purpose as well. We all need to figure out the answer to, the “What am I trying to accomplish while I’m alive?” question. Or put another way, “What is my purpose in life?”. I think the happiest people are those that find their calling or mission in the service of others. It can be simple like raising healthy and intelligent children in partnership with an understanding and compassionate life partner. Maybe you want to serve in the medical community to ease suffering and help people heal through their injuries or trauma. You could be interested in Finance and feel a deep desire to help educate others to be more financially literate as you assist them in building their wealth over time for the maximum benefit of their family members. There are so many things people can do and ways they can serve humanity while earning a paycheck that may be modest or it might be among the 1% of high earners in the whole world.

It doesn’t really matter much at the end of the day. Just find a cause to serve and dedicate your resources and focus to that! Do the things you need to with the awareness that you might die in the process of serving and that’s ok because your are doing meaningful work that YOU decided to do and that you really care about. Avoid all trivial and worthless pursuits or those that leave you feeling empty or wanting more money.

The goal should be to keep living while serving the people and causes you care about. Keep doing some kind of activity in service of people even if that is volunteering your time for no money at all. One day when your time is up, you will have accomplished some good in the world that will hopefully carry on after you. That’s the best way to live and eventually, die Awesome!

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How To Control Your Anger

January 18, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Have you ever gotten really angry and regretted it?

One moment you were calm, and then something upset you so much that you lost your cool and boom, you let out the fury!

At first, you might have felt justified to be so ticked off, but later the same day, you replay the events and know deep down you would have rather kept your cool.

But hey, you're human and getting angry is provoked in us by aggravating circumstances and annoying people. Who can blame you for a perfectly normal human emotion, right?

Besides, only Saints and Prophets are always calm and centred!

This reminds me of a story.

A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery.

He takes his boat out to the middle of the lake, moors it there, closes his eyes and begins his meditation.

After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels the bump of another boat colliding with his own.

With his eyes still closed, he senses his anger rising, and by the time he opens his eyes, he is ready to scream at the boatman who dared to disturb his meditation.

But when he opens his eyes, he sees an empty boat that had probably gotten untethered and floated to the middle of the lake.

At that moment, the monk achieves self-realization. He understands that the anger is within him — it merely needs the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him.

From then on, whenever he came across a situation or person that irritated him or provoked him to anger, he reminded himself, “The situation/person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me.”

When we are angry, do we ever stop to study the source of the anger? If we go by the story, do we have the ability to remind ourselves that we "react" with anger and that we do have control over this emotional reaction?

The cost of anger is high. It can ruin your day and probably is not good for your health, especially if you bottle it up and don't let it go. It can often ruin a situation or relationship beyond repair and make life less awesome.

Your life should be awesome!

Let the empty boats come our way. We shall stay anchored and enjoy the cool breeze and sunny days ahead. Ahoy!

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Motivation Is NOT Enough!

January 11, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

I’ve watched a lot of motivational videos and read a lot of inspiring things. I honestly love the feeling I get watching or reading things that move me emotionally. It’s like a big charge of energy that temporarily makes me feel I can do anything and become anyone. Sadly, it’s not enough to just consume this content because nothing changes that way.

Only when I execute my personal plan to move forward and make the changes, do the hard work, and track my progress do I see results. Only then can I truly benefit from that surge of positive emotions that started me on this path. It’s too easy to just watch one powerful video and then another and keep going all day without actually doing any work. We need to stop watching and start doing. We have to put down that book and pick up the pace in an exercise routine. We need to take action on what we have learned and been inspired to do!

Motivation can help some people start their mind’s engine and get ready to hit the road but until we put that car into gear and get on the road, we’re just foolishly revving the engine in the garage while parked and blasting our favourite song on the stereo. This wastes gas and time which doesn’t help anyone. Let’s make this the year that we all get our cars moving on the road to our destination. Enjoy the ride!

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What Control Do You Have In Life?

January 4, 2023 Shazad Ahmad

By Ahsan

Have you ever wished for a thing to be a certain way only to see your plans and dreams turn out another way?

Wouldn’t it be grand to have life unfold as you want it to and for people to be the way that pleases you?

Given the recent few years and the coming new year, having more control over your destiny would be nice. It would be awesome.

So, is there a secret to having control over your life?

Indeed there is, and maybe this is the first time anyone has ever told you what it is. So let's see if this is true for you.

The deep secret lies in having trust.

But trust in what?

Right now, in your chest, a most amazing thing is happening.

There is a muscle that is pumping blood throughout your body. Your heart beats about 100,000 times a day or about 35 million times a year. In an average lifetime, it will beat 2.5 billion times.

Think about that. If your heart stops. You stop. And yet, if you were asked to do something even twice in one day, you might complain of the great inconvenience and hassle.

On the other hand, your heart is beating without you thinking about it. It is being done for you.

Whoever puts us here on this planet is doing things for us. If your Creator does this for you, what else is being done for you?

Can you expand your awareness and appreciate the miracles of air to breathe, water to drink and fire to keep you warm? You are not doing life; life is being done for you. If this is true, is this something you can put your trust in?

Don’t lose that trust. Keep trusting this all your life and go with the flow of life.

This is not to say, "don't try, have goals, make plans, or have expectations of others." Instead, even though there is chaos under the skies, all is well.

One thing that all the mystics from all the religions agree on: all is well, all is well.

You really don’t control life. Let that be a thought you can trust in 2023.

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Choose Your Identity and Better Habits will Follow

December 28, 2022 Shazad Ahmad

By Shazad

“Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, walking by walking, and running by running… therefore, if you want to do something, make a habit of it.”

Epictetus

It’s that time of year again. Almost New Year’s day and many people will be going through the ritualistic celebrations leading up to midnight on January 1st and then setting resolutions for the new year. Sadly, many will fail within weeks or a few months of setting new goals and intentions for the year. This is despite the best of intentions and sincere efforts to make life changes. There has to be a better way to improve life each year and I’ll show you how.

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One.”

Marcus Aurelius

After reading many books about life-changing transformations by the greats such as Anthony Robbins, James Clear, Ryan Holiday, and even the Navy Seal, Jocko Willink, one word is the answer to better habits. IDENTITY. Everyone has a need to be consistent with who they believe they are. If we think we are healthy and responsible people, we will seek out and practice the habits of such people like eating nutritious foods, following an exercise plan, and, taking care of ourselves in every respect. If a person believes they are a ‘smoker’ or a ‘lazy person’, they act out the habits of such a person. The same thing goes for intelligence, work performance, and even family relationships. Whatever you keep telling yourself about yourself is what you become in the long run. It affects short-term behaviour as well like what you will eat for breakfast today, how you will study for that exam, or deliver that presentation. Even when you go to sleep tonight and what time you wake up is part of your identity that makes you the person you are.

“Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice–now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! […] Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do–now.”

Epictetus, The Art of Living

It’s not enough to just say you want a better life or have better habits in 2023 or any given year. You have to ask yourself who you are or perhaps, who you are trying to become in the new year and then be consistent with that identity by doing the things that align with that person. That’s the only way to make life transformations that last more than a few days or weeks. It’s also not about the calendar or what everyone else is doing. Transforming your being at the source makes habit changes and refinement a part of your identity. You need to check-in with person you want to be, every day. Let’s make the New Year about Human Transformation through positive identity changes that last a lifetime.

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