Live Awesome!
52 Awesome Life Lessons Learned So Far
By Shazad
I will be celebrating 52 years of age this year. That’s 52 successful turns around the Sun and all the birthdays marking the blessings of being alive one more year. I have learned a number of valuable things with the passage of time and I’m going to share these with you. I’m sure many points will resonate with you because these ideas are all part of our shared human journey.
1. Quality is more important than quantity.
2. The biggest regrets in life are about the things not done and the time not spent with loved ones.
3. Travelling is life-changing and is the best use of time and resources.
4. Self Discipline is powerful and more important than motivation or being pushed by someone else.
5. Other people’s thoughts about me are much less important than what I think about myself.
6. Ordinary people trying their best with what they have are the real heroes in life.
7. The purpose of life is about living a life of purpose.
8. We don’t choose our genetics, background, or entry into the world but we have a lot of power over our growth, decisions, and our journey through this world.
9. Age, weakness, and death are all parts of life rather than something to fight against. Accept and embrace your mortality.
10. The Purpose of Higher Education is to learn how to learn and then apply things. It’s not about the Degree and all about the skill of gaining knowledge. The purpose is to become wiser as well as aware of the limits of our own knowledge.
11. Say NO to many things and make space in the calendar for the right things to say YES to. This becomes most important when you are married and have children.
12. It’s better to seek a peaceful and fulfilling life rather than a vague notion of momentary happiness.
13. Enduring stress and rare moments of suffering can positively transform a person. Passing through these moments can be a great way to become the next best version of yourself.
14. Luck truly is when Opportunity, Consistency, and Hard Work line up for a successful outcome. Do your part of the work and you will keep experiencing good luck.
15. Deep attachment to things is a weakness that will be exploited by others and will result in mental suffering.
16. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually is not a luxury but a necessity that benefits every part of life.
17. There are seasons in life with different priorities, adventures, responsibilities, and sacrifices. Fully Enjoy each season and don’t wish you were in another one because that is self-inflicted pain you don’t need.
18. It’s more important to understand and create systems for success. This is better than performing a bunch of habits or learning a variety of facts.
19. A few good friends that you keep in touch with for decades are better than 100+ followers on social media. You will likely never spend any time with those who follow you online.
20. Writing things down clears up the mind and reduces stress. It also helps to remember and learn things better.
21. Anger is normal but should be controlled and managed because just like a fire, it can destroy people and things when it’s used as a weapon.
22. The Story in life is more important than the raw facts or information about something. Ask yourself what is the narrative you are telling yourself as you go through a life experience.
23. Collect memories, experiences, and photos of the life you have lived. These are more important than money, fame, and Social Media Likes.
24. If you cannot make time for big things, try to break them down into smaller chunks to manage resources.
25. Use humour in your day. Find the funny in life and you will enjoy yourself more.
26. Give sincere praise regularly. Make it a habit to say Thank You to people often. Even if it is for small acts of human kindness you experience each day.
27. Try to figure out how much one hour of your attention is worth and never waste it or accept less “pay” than you deserve.
28. Find at least 5 people that are motivated and capable of positive life changes so you can be friends with them. Help each other reach their full potential in life.
29. Review your mistakes, failures, and near misses at success. Analyze what went wrong so you can avoid the same mistakes next time.
30. Of the many virtues in life, Courage, Wisdom, Temperance, and Justice are some of the best to keep in mind at all times.
31. There is a benefit to moving fast and adjusting the course as you go. There is also a benefit to proper planning before a journey and estimating the hurdles before you face them.
32. Tactics and Strategies are both important in life. Don’t ignore either one of these.
33. Do good things and then move on to the next good deed. Don’t dwell on what you have done for others.
34. Manners, principles, discipline, and kindness go a long way in human relationships so make them part of your character.
35. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you from your situation. You have to be the hero of your own life through the right conduct and wisdom.
36. Expect resistance, friction, and general twists in the plot. You will be less frustrated in life and can plan for ways to handle things better when you face these hurdles.
37. Plant seeds of kindness and good deeds often. Don’t expect anything in return.
38. Spend time with very young people as well as the very senior members of society. Look into their eyes and imagine and try to see the world through their eyes to help you tune your own perspective.
39. Read contrarian information that is not aligned with what you know or believe to see what it may have to offer about a given topic. Maybe you will strengthen your own beliefs or perhaps, you will change your mind about something.
40. Always look for ways to educate yourself on the job and in your own personal time. Take advantage of free courses and training subsidized by your employer or some government agency.
41. Be a Mentor to those younger than you or those with less experience. Freely give of your time and experience on a regular basis.
42. Seek mentors who can help you get to the next level of your personal or professional journey. Don’t try to do it all alone.
43. Find ways to have great experiences each year by stepping back from work and life routines. Change up your schedule for 1 week or a full month and explore a different place or culture.
44. Audit your inputs ranging from physical items to digital media and cut down all of these by 10%. Do another audit in 6 months and reduce everything by another 10%.
45. Make space in your closet, car, and life for expansion and growth but don’t immediately try to fill the void. Enjoy the empty space your created for a while. Be selective about what you put in each aspect of your life and make it intentional.
46. Do a little more than what is expected of you on a regular basis and you will stand out. Most people are not even doing what they committed to doing so anyone who regularly does a little more than what is required is the one others will be attracted to.
47. Remember you cannot please everyone so pick your audience and serve them to the best of your ability.
48. Becoming a parent is hard. It’s not supposed to be an easy job so respect the challenge and step up to do your best every day. That’s what children deserve from us.
49. Traditions and trends are important but shouldn’t become dogma or ‘policy’ in your life. Know the difference between what is required and what is handed down as a cultural practice.
50. You will never stop learning lessons in life so never imagine you are ‘done’ or have achieved a state of perfect wisdom. There’s always room to learn and refine your knowledge some more.
51. Expect to lose important people and precious things and give thanks each day that you still have them. This will prevent you from becoming ungrateful and complacent about what matters in life.
52. Life is Short so you might as well Live Awesome!
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7 Awesome Things I Learned From Pickleball
By Ahsan
“There are those who play Pickleball and those who live Pickleball. They are not the same.” Ahsan Khan
I came to Pickleball out of curiosity and a love for challenging myself to learn something new.
A few clients mentioned they were playing the sport. One person mentioned how she and her husband were having so much fun, and the other said, "it saved my life!" He had recently retired and had gone through a difficult life situation.
So off I went to research the game and landed at the Richmond Hill Pickleball Club.
So far, here are 7 things I have learned, and you might too:
Overcoming Doubt: That I…me…could learn a new sport at this advanced age. Learning the scoring system and watching my feet at the kitchen line has added numerous neural pathways to my brain.
How To Make Friends and Dink People: I get to meet new people every week and share a laugh, words of encouragement, and a mutual desire to beat our opponents across the net. When called, my partner and I are ready to drink, smash, volley, and bang.
Discovering That I Can Be Present: When I play, time not only flies but I am totally thinking about my shot-making, what the score is, where my feet are, what dastardly trick my opponent is trying on me, and all my cares of the world seem to disappear.
That My Body Needs More Attention: To be honest, I initially thought this game for "older folk" is so easy, so non-physical, a walk in the park. First off, I have been schooled by plenty of 70-plus grandmothers and felt the aches for 2 days straight. So now I am stretching and doing weight training to fight the sarcopenia and get an edge. Hehe!
That I Get High On and Off The Court: Once I start playing, there is no time to think about anything other than getting that ball over the net and putting it away! This constant focus adds calming serotonin, and each successful smash or snappy backhand gives thrilling dopamine hits. I also drive home feeling so chill and on top of the hill.
How Not To Dwell On My Mistakes: Hitting out of bounds, missing a serve or dropping your third shot into your side of the net can really bug a person. Hey, I am no saint. I get mad. But I also find myself saying, "next shot Ahsan, dial it in," and other sweet nothings.
That Life Is Not A Rehearsal: In life, you must spend time doing things you love. You never know how long you will be here, so get your game of life going. Hopefully, you also feel that while Pickleball is not our whole life, it makes our life whole!
This list is a work in progress. We’re curious about what lessons you learned from your journey with Pickleball. Email back, and let us all learn together.
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The Future You is All You Need
By Shazad
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
I like the above quote and I’m always curious about what is going to happen. What will happen next in a given news story or world event? What is next for the economy or the climate change patterns? It’s hard to tell and no one really knows for sure. We can model certain events and do a bunch of calculations on supercomputers but we don’t know for sure just like we don’t know the weather beyond a couple of days in the future.
What we do know and have control over is how we plan to meet with the future and what attitude we will have about the way things turn out. We can develop a resilient mindset and flexible position on some possible ways things might unfold so we are not completely surprised. We can also realize that many things are not in our control and never were or will be. Our job is to navigate whatever the situation is with the best knowledge and wisdom we possess. It can be something beautiful and empowering for us all. Just think of yourself as capable, strong, and willing to become the kind of person you need to be whatever tomorrow brings. Be ready for change, growth, and kindness. That’s all you need.
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How To Enjoy Life and Coffee
By Ahsan
“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
Eddie Cantor
Are you truly enjoying life? How about that last cup of coffee you had? Is your life so “go-go” that you forget to enjoy the little things?
We are getting more hectic with our lives. We go from one thing to another; one appointment is made and on to another meeting. On top of that, distractions abound from social media, incoming calls and emails that never end.
So what can a person do?
Slowing down makes perfect sense, but it might not be practical. I'm sorry to break it to you, but our modern age might always be "go-go and hectic!" So the real solution is to change a straightforward thing.
That simple and singular idea is to prioritize enjoyment!
What do you enjoy when you are not on the clock or on the weekend when things slow down? Are you doing those things often enough?
What do you do where time flies, where you feel happy and relaxed and very present? Recall those feelings of calm, engagement, excitement or bliss, if you will. Is it when you play your favourite sport or go to dinner with friends? How about when you sit down with a cup of coffee and a good book? Or go for a hike in the forest on a cool spring morning?
So here is the plan to start enjoying your life:
Make a list of things that float your boat. Try to come up with at least ten things you can honestly say make you feel happy and alive. For example, if you love reading books and are not reading them, then you are not living life to the fullest, are you?
Next, develop the ability to enjoy the things on your list. Let's suppose you enjoy travelling to new places. Are you taking a bunch of pics with your phone, editing them and showing them to your friends when you come back? Oftentimes, you were there, and your camera was there, but you missed out on truly being there. We can all do better at being more conscious and tasting that cup of coffee. Was it hot, fresh and aromatic, or did you miss its flavour and warmth going down to your belly?
Developing the ability to enjoy things is all about being present, smelling the fragrance of a good meal while it's being prepared, and hearing the sounds in the busy bazaar, from the honks of scooters to the chatter of people sipping an espresso at the café. It's not about reading the menu and the description of your entrée but tasting what you ordered.
Finally, understand that your experience in life comes from the state of mind you develop. I'm not talking about a positive state of mind but rather a relaxed state of mind. When you have a relaxed state of mind, you become more observant. You can observe things and yourself with presence. I am sure this relaxed and self-observant state has happened to you many times.
It generally happens when people are on vacation. They are away from the regular grind and indeed present doing or experiencing mundane things like tasting the best coffee ever at the most typical coffee shop.
There is an underlying phenomenon going on here. It is this: your experience of life comes from only one place⎯thought in the moment!
Herein lies a hint at how to have the best cup of coffee ever each and every time you drink coffee and truly enjoy your life.
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Be The Hero of Your Life!
By Shazad
“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag, or boar – and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges? Obviously, he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules. And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?”
Epictetus. Discourses
We all have certain capacities, resources, and challenges in life. Every one of us is constantly facing something that we need to address and sometimes it’s with nothing short of heroic nature that will do the job. For some on the front lines of a crisis, that heroism is called for on a daily basis. Regardless of when or where you are when that cry for help arrives at your ears, you need to respond. You must step up and be there for your family, friends, or community and metaphorically or literally ‘rescue’ them as only you can.
Being a hero is not about a cape or cartoonish muscles. It’s a mindset that includes courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. All of the best virtues of life are found in a true hero. So the obvious first step is to develop as many of these virtues in your life and keep refining them on a regular basis.
The next big part of heroism is to be comfortable with discomfort on occasion and not complain about it to anyone. Heroes in mythology or real life have to struggle to get to where they are and even maintain their status. This is part of the character of legendary people because they can put up with temporary setbacks, annoyances, and pain so they can accomplish their mission in life.
The third key point for your heroic transformation is to be aware of what’s happening around you and what’s coming up around the corner. Where are the opportunities where you can provide great value? Where are potential dangers and hurdles you should avoid along with helping in your circle, avoid so they can stay safe? Become an excellent observer, listener, and meditator on the various information and events you witness each day. Filter the noise and get to what the priority is so you can respond in the best way.
You don’t have to be a mythological demi-God or experience a radio-active insect bite to transform into a great hero in life. You just have to care about your role in life and follow the 3 step approach above with sincerity and discipline. To all the Awesome heroes and future legends in the making, I salute you!
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What's More Important, a Positive attitude Or Positive Thinking?
By Ahsan
There are days when everything is going great, and you feel wonderful. What is the key reason behind such amazing days?
It's easy to see why some days are challenging or even miserable, but what makes those awesome days happen when they do?
Most people would point out that when everything is good, I am good. That's a fair assessment. It certainly helps when you get an A on your assignment, get a bonus at work or see your child's face light up when you give them a present.
But then there are times when you get a B, don't get recognized for your efforts, or your spoiled kid says thanks and tosses the new toy onto a pile of other toys. I bet you don't always feel negative when that happens, do you? I bet, I bet!
Something is going on here. However, external happenings are not the source of our feelings.
If things that happen to us are not the root cause of feeling wonderful, then what is?
What about this? When I am good, everything is good.
In other words, your mental frame of mind has something to do with how you feel. That is where people often attribute having a positive attitude to more happiness and success.
Would you argue that having a positive attitude is not the most critical determinant of having wonderful days, even when things are not going to your liking?
It would be an interesting debate if you posed the question to some friends. So may I suggest you do it at your next get-together with friends.
However, I would like to challenge this very acceptable notion. I want to argue that having a positive attitude is helpful as a technique but not the root cause for having wonderful days, happiness in general or a successful life.
The actual generator of those awesome days is not a positive attitude but instead positive thinking.
Even if you say to yourself, “silver-lining” things like getting a B is good feedback, I will study better next time, or getting a bonus is not that important, or maybe my kid is just too tired to show how grateful he is, these so-called positive attitudes are actually your thinking about the situation.
You feel your thinking. What you feel comes from your thinking. You think all day. Everyone thinks. It's the thinking that makes you feel good or bad. Get aware of this phenomenon. Accept this as an indisputable truth, a law like the law of gravity. It only works one way. What you think, you feel.
If you are not feeling optimal, consider that as biofeedback and examine what you are thinking at that moment. Try to catch yourself in the moment. Have that lightbulb go on!
From this awareness (I think into my feelings), you can use "techniques" to shift your thinking.
Helpful techniques like developing a positive attitude by reading positive stories of people who face difficult situations, like Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search For Meaning. Or keeping a gratitude journal and writing all the little things you should be grateful for. Or trying something new for 30 days, like learning a new sport like Pickleball.
Negative thinking with a positive attitude won’t do it.
I rest my case. Positive thinking is more important than a positive mental attitude.
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Take A Step Forward Every Day
By Shazad
“Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.”
Zeno
Life can be challenging and it’s been especially so for so many people in the past few years. It seems like there are always more things to do than hours in a day and never enough money in the bank to pay for things. It can be downright overwhelming and I have been there so I can personally relate to all of these feelings.
What can we do about this? Is there any solution or tactic for making it through the day?
Yes, indeed! What has worked for me is the daily ritual of doing the necessary work first and crossing some things off my list one item at a time. Taking one step in each moment to move things a little forward each day. It all adds up and becomes a completed project over time.
The key thing is to determine what is most important and then the next most important, and so on. Find out what the steps to completion are for each task and then start from step 1. Keep moving forward with the steps every day until you are done. It’s important to determine what is optional or nice to do and put that aside for the moment. Focus your time and energy on just doing the important things and you will get the satisfaction of having achieved something every day. Make daily consistent effort your goal and not perfection.
In the end, just realize that you may never be truly “DONE” with everything so don’t stress over it. If you are taking care of yourself and your family while making meaningful progress each day, you are doing well. That’s good enough! Live Awesome!
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Are You Justifiably Upset With Someone?
By Ahsan
Do you get upset when someone does not do what you expect of them?
Let's say you really wanted someone to appreciate your efforts in making dinner for them, but instead of elaborate praise, all you got was a mere thanks. After all, you spent all last week thinking of the perfect menu, researching the recipes, and toiling for hours on the day of only to get a “thanks?”
All you wanted was an acknowledgment of your effort and a pat on the shoulder. Was that too much to ask for?
Now instead of sitting down to enjoy the moment and great time you envisioned, you are seething underneath and unable to be happy. Your mood is spoiled, and you feign smile after smile the whole night.
How can you avoid this natural feeling of disappointment and upset?
You may need to get in touch with this reality. You, my friend, are a dictator.
A dictator? Yes, a dictator.
But don’t worry, I am a dictator too. We all are.
The weird thing is that we demand people to behave a certain way and often have expectations of them, don't we? And that makes you a demanding dictator with expectations. Kind of like a little child does.
We are like a driver stuck in the mud when we do this. We expect the car to move forward by pressing the gas and find ourselves getting more stuck. On top of that, we also start getting upset. We might even get out of the car, kick the tires, and scream out at the sky, saying, "damn it, why did it rain so much this week?"
When you demand others to behave in a way you expect them to, you are being a dictator, and when you get upset, that is very silly. So now you are a silly dictator or at least childish.
You getting upset is YOU punishing yourself. Because someone did not do what you demanded, you upset yourself by having bitter feelings. Silly? Crazy? If you stop to think about it, we all do this occasionally.
No one intentionally does this: I will make myself upset and ruin my day because you don't do my bidding. And yet, it's done.
So, if you want to enjoy your life and be happy, get in touch with reality and start observing yourself. The only demands you should make are upon yourself, not others.
Are you making unrealistic demands of others? Do you have grand expectations of them? Does the fulfillment of your demands and expectations required to make you happy? If so, drop that way of being and watch as your wheels move you forward.
Keep moving forward; relax, observe yourself, and enjoy the ride.
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Living...and Dying in Service of Something Greater
By Shazad
“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
Everyone is busy doing things and trying to survive at times. Many people spend a lot of time thinking about doing things and worrying about death. A few wise people have things figured out. Life is about service to others which starts with yourself, your family, your community, and humanity as a whole. The best way to live, in my opinion, is to be serving a higher cause.
True satisfaction in life is not getting everything you want as soon as you want and then spending your days on a beach every day. That gets boring after a while so even the richest people in the world have jobs where they aim for something beyond just making more money. They have huge goals and grand visions about what they want to achieve beyond their wealth and also, using their immense wealth.
Whether or not you are a billionaire, you need to have goals and a purpose as well. We all need to figure out the answer to, the “What am I trying to accomplish while I’m alive?” question. Or put another way, “What is my purpose in life?”. I think the happiest people are those that find their calling or mission in the service of others. It can be simple like raising healthy and intelligent children in partnership with an understanding and compassionate life partner. Maybe you want to serve in the medical community to ease suffering and help people heal through their injuries or trauma. You could be interested in Finance and feel a deep desire to help educate others to be more financially literate as you assist them in building their wealth over time for the maximum benefit of their family members. There are so many things people can do and ways they can serve humanity while earning a paycheck that may be modest or it might be among the 1% of high earners in the whole world.
It doesn’t really matter much at the end of the day. Just find a cause to serve and dedicate your resources and focus to that! Do the things you need to with the awareness that you might die in the process of serving and that’s ok because your are doing meaningful work that YOU decided to do and that you really care about. Avoid all trivial and worthless pursuits or those that leave you feeling empty or wanting more money.
The goal should be to keep living while serving the people and causes you care about. Keep doing some kind of activity in service of people even if that is volunteering your time for no money at all. One day when your time is up, you will have accomplished some good in the world that will hopefully carry on after you. That’s the best way to live and eventually, die Awesome!
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How To Control Your Anger
By Ahsan
Have you ever gotten really angry and regretted it?
One moment you were calm, and then something upset you so much that you lost your cool and boom, you let out the fury!
At first, you might have felt justified to be so ticked off, but later the same day, you replay the events and know deep down you would have rather kept your cool.
But hey, you're human and getting angry is provoked in us by aggravating circumstances and annoying people. Who can blame you for a perfectly normal human emotion, right?
Besides, only Saints and Prophets are always calm and centred!
This reminds me of a story.
A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery.
He takes his boat out to the middle of the lake, moors it there, closes his eyes and begins his meditation.
After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels the bump of another boat colliding with his own.
With his eyes still closed, he senses his anger rising, and by the time he opens his eyes, he is ready to scream at the boatman who dared to disturb his meditation.
But when he opens his eyes, he sees an empty boat that had probably gotten untethered and floated to the middle of the lake.
At that moment, the monk achieves self-realization. He understands that the anger is within him — it merely needs the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him.
From then on, whenever he came across a situation or person that irritated him or provoked him to anger, he reminded himself, “The situation/person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me.”
When we are angry, do we ever stop to study the source of the anger? If we go by the story, do we have the ability to remind ourselves that we "react" with anger and that we do have control over this emotional reaction?
The cost of anger is high. It can ruin your day and probably is not good for your health, especially if you bottle it up and don't let it go. It can often ruin a situation or relationship beyond repair and make life less awesome.
Your life should be awesome!
Let the empty boats come our way. We shall stay anchored and enjoy the cool breeze and sunny days ahead. Ahoy!
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Motivation Is NOT Enough!
By Shazad
I’ve watched a lot of motivational videos and read a lot of inspiring things. I honestly love the feeling I get watching or reading things that move me emotionally. It’s like a big charge of energy that temporarily makes me feel I can do anything and become anyone. Sadly, it’s not enough to just consume this content because nothing changes that way.
Only when I execute my personal plan to move forward and make the changes, do the hard work, and track my progress do I see results. Only then can I truly benefit from that surge of positive emotions that started me on this path. It’s too easy to just watch one powerful video and then another and keep going all day without actually doing any work. We need to stop watching and start doing. We have to put down that book and pick up the pace in an exercise routine. We need to take action on what we have learned and been inspired to do!
Motivation can help some people start their mind’s engine and get ready to hit the road but until we put that car into gear and get on the road, we’re just foolishly revving the engine in the garage while parked and blasting our favourite song on the stereo. This wastes gas and time which doesn’t help anyone. Let’s make this the year that we all get our cars moving on the road to our destination. Enjoy the ride!
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What Control Do You Have In Life?
By Ahsan
Have you ever wished for a thing to be a certain way only to see your plans and dreams turn out another way?
Wouldn’t it be grand to have life unfold as you want it to and for people to be the way that pleases you?
Given the recent few years and the coming new year, having more control over your destiny would be nice. It would be awesome.
So, is there a secret to having control over your life?
Indeed there is, and maybe this is the first time anyone has ever told you what it is. So let's see if this is true for you.
The deep secret lies in having trust.
But trust in what?
Right now, in your chest, a most amazing thing is happening.
There is a muscle that is pumping blood throughout your body. Your heart beats about 100,000 times a day or about 35 million times a year. In an average lifetime, it will beat 2.5 billion times.
Think about that. If your heart stops. You stop. And yet, if you were asked to do something even twice in one day, you might complain of the great inconvenience and hassle.
On the other hand, your heart is beating without you thinking about it. It is being done for you.
Whoever puts us here on this planet is doing things for us. If your Creator does this for you, what else is being done for you?
Can you expand your awareness and appreciate the miracles of air to breathe, water to drink and fire to keep you warm? You are not doing life; life is being done for you. If this is true, is this something you can put your trust in?
Don’t lose that trust. Keep trusting this all your life and go with the flow of life.
This is not to say, "don't try, have goals, make plans, or have expectations of others." Instead, even though there is chaos under the skies, all is well.
One thing that all the mystics from all the religions agree on: all is well, all is well.
You really don’t control life. Let that be a thought you can trust in 2023.
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Choose Your Identity and Better Habits will Follow
By Shazad
“Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, walking by walking, and running by running… therefore, if you want to do something, make a habit of it.”
Epictetus
It’s that time of year again. Almost New Year’s day and many people will be going through the ritualistic celebrations leading up to midnight on January 1st and then setting resolutions for the new year. Sadly, many will fail within weeks or a few months of setting new goals and intentions for the year. This is despite the best of intentions and sincere efforts to make life changes. There has to be a better way to improve life each year and I’ll show you how.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One.”
Marcus Aurelius
After reading many books about life-changing transformations by the greats such as Anthony Robbins, James Clear, Ryan Holiday, and even the Navy Seal, Jocko Willink, one word is the answer to better habits. IDENTITY. Everyone has a need to be consistent with who they believe they are. If we think we are healthy and responsible people, we will seek out and practice the habits of such people like eating nutritious foods, following an exercise plan, and, taking care of ourselves in every respect. If a person believes they are a ‘smoker’ or a ‘lazy person’, they act out the habits of such a person. The same thing goes for intelligence, work performance, and even family relationships. Whatever you keep telling yourself about yourself is what you become in the long run. It affects short-term behaviour as well like what you will eat for breakfast today, how you will study for that exam, or deliver that presentation. Even when you go to sleep tonight and what time you wake up is part of your identity that makes you the person you are.
“Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice–now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! […] Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do–now.”
Epictetus, The Art of Living
It’s not enough to just say you want a better life or have better habits in 2023 or any given year. You have to ask yourself who you are or perhaps, who you are trying to become in the new year and then be consistent with that identity by doing the things that align with that person. That’s the only way to make life transformations that last more than a few days or weeks. It’s also not about the calendar or what everyone else is doing. Transforming your being at the source makes habit changes and refinement a part of your identity. You need to check-in with person you want to be, every day. Let’s make the New Year about Human Transformation through positive identity changes that last a lifetime.
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The Importance of Rest and Recovery
By Shazad
The Winter Holidays are coming, or already here for some people. It’s the best time to meet with family and friends and just slow things down. It’s very important to get some personal time where you just rest and do something fun each day.
If you want to be a high-performing family member or career person, you need to slow things down on a regular basis. This will help ‘tune up’ your system so you can start to perform at your best again in the New Year. You don’t have to sleep in every day or eat a lot of your favourite foods every single day until the end of December. You should indulge a little in your choice of relaxing activities or things so you can reward yourself for working hard all year long. You can spend some time thinking about what your highlights or favourite parts of the year were. What WINS can you celebrate and what future WINS are you looking forward to next year? Where did you improve and what exciting journey will you plan for next year? Get excited and visualize all the great things coming your way in the very near future.
Like many people, you probably feel this year has been very busy and just flown by. It feels like Summer was just a week ago and January 2022 started just a month or two ago. By slowing things down in the last days of December, you can appreciate your efforts and enjoy the downtime you finally hoped for. Soak it all in and make each day go slower than the last to fully recharge yourself. You’re going to need to be at full capacity when the New Year starts and a new chapter of life begins!
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How To Minimize Your Troubles
By Ahsan
Life comes at you fast. Don’t let it freak you out.
Manolo Vega
Have you felt off or downright sad, given all the stuff we have gone through over the last three years?
Does it seem like the world changes too fast and that “things” are so unpredictable? So much so that you don’t know how to plan for or respond to the constant bits and pieces hurled at you?
Well, perhaps you need to get some perspective from this story I will share with you.
Check it out.
The old Master instructed an unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it.
"How does it taste?" the Master asked.
"Not good at all," spat the apprentice.
The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it into a nearby lake.
The two walked in silence to the lake. When the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man paused and said, "Now, drink from the lake."
As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?"
"Good!" remarked the apprentice.
"Do you taste the salt?"
"No," said the young man.
The Master sat beside this troubled young man and said, "The pain of life is pure salt, no more, no less.
The amount of pain in life remains the same. But the amount we taste that pain depends on the container we put it into.
So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake."
The lesson in the story is for all of us to change our internal state. You are not limited to thinking a few thoughts over and over again. The deeper secret in this beautiful story is to expand your thinking.
In all things you experience in life and feel, your thinking makes it so.
That’s it.
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How To Achieve Your Goals Even If You Are Lazy
By Ahsan
Have you ever felt that you are not achieving your goals even if you write them down and work on them?
For all your best efforts, the things you set out to do remain half done or get pushed back while other things take priority.
This sometimes looks like you need to get in your workouts for the week, have missed date night with your spouse, or prepare for next week's important work meeting on time.
We all get this feeling now and then as life seems to get faster and busier, and who can blame us? After all, there is so much to do and only so much time in a day.
What would solve this in one fell sweep? What might sharpen our approach so that we make progress on our goals and not come to the end of the day losing to the clock?
This story may give you a clue.
One summer, three friends decided to take on a job at the lumber mill.
They were all athletes and needed to make money for University tuition.
They were intelligent and strong.
Their job included chopping down trees with an axe. A few days after starting, the boss offered a cash prize to the person who could chop the most trees over their shift. The award was for an extra $500, which was quite a bit of money in those days.
The three friends felt they had it made and that because of their strength, one of them would win, and they would split the prize. There were 20 men on this shift, and they were the youngest and strongest. However, there was one fellow who was about 65 years old. His name was Blake.
Old man Blake would take a break every 2 hours or so, go up to the shed, and come back after 15 minutes. The three friends thought nothing of it but noticed that he would keep going up to the shed like clockwork. Then, after 10 minutes, he would return to chopping more trees.
The following day the winner was announced. The three friends had spent the last few hours chopping like mad and felt one of them would win for sure.
The boss announced the winner. It was Blake! Old man Blake!
How did he win when he kept taking breaks every 2 hours?
The youngsters asked, and Blake said while you guys were chopping, I was sharpening my axe in the shed.
The moral of the story is to work smarter and not harder.
So how can you achieve your goals even if you are lazy? Here is the sharpest axe you can use as your tool.
Start TIME BLOCKING.
That's it. Schedule a block of time to work on your body, treat date night like it's an appointment with the most important person you know, and put a specific time in your schedule to prepare for that crucial meeting.
Don't wait for when you are in the mood to do things. Instead, start TIME BLOCKING and see how much more trees you can chop.
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10 Habits of Awesome Men and Women
By Shazad
There are many habits people follow but not all of them make a person successful and stand out from the crowd. Many habits are actually negatives and make people average or below average. Certain habits are empowering and highly productive to living well. Some would say these are the habits practiced by the Top 10% or perhaps 1% of human beings. I’m going to share my perspective on the Top 10 habits of such high-value people. I’m measuring success in terms of overall health, happiness, stable family life, and enough income to support the people they love. Try some or all of these habits as part of your routine and see how Awesome you can be!
They always have consistent personal grooming habits in terms of hair, nails, skin, and teeth. They aren’t necessarily the most handsome or beautiful people like a celebrity or a model. They ARE very aware of the fundamentals of cleanliness and proper grooming every day of the week.
They wear clothes that fit and are made of natural materials. They don’t care much about big brands and logos. They make sure the clothes they wear flatters their body and are comfortable wearing each piece which projects confidence. They never wear ripped/torn clothes no matter what the fashion trend is. They will often dress up a little better than others in a crowd to demonstrate a little more class and refinement in their appearance without overdoing it.
They take health and well-being very seriously. Such people are regular in physical training and mental focus exercises every day. Stretching and flexibility work is a must for them also. They consume the healthiest foods with the occasional ‘cheat’ meals for fun.
They practice calmness and are polite in all situations. They demonstrate the best manners and use language in an appropriate way. Neither passively or abusively. They are hard to rattle or anger and rarely if ever, found swearing.
They are always learning and growing because they believe in constant improvement. This means reading and listening to the best info from contemporary people and also from ancient wisdom and practices.
They wake up early and have a plan for the day. They have long-term goals and are achieving them. These go beyond money or fame. They are focused on the person they are becoming and living a life of purpose which is their daily motivation. They know they cannot take time or resources for granted so they don’t waste either of these as they carry out their daily mission to be more valuable as human beings.
They have strong relationships that last for many years. They focus on quality friendships they build and maintain over time. Their friends are other High-Value people and those that want to be. They actually care about their network and use it to benefit themselves as well as others as they slowly grow it over time.
They speak clearly and confidently about topics they know. They listen well and are capable of writing well and presenting ideas with convincing points. Such people are always trying to improve their language and speaking skills to better understand the Art of Communication with all kinds of people and ideas.
They can adapt to different situations without complaints or being stuck. They figure out a way to navigate or surf whatever the situation is. They aren’t rigid and don’t follow any dogma but they do have a consistent set of beliefs for living well. They don’t require everything to be perfect for them to get ahead and actually enjoy a certain amount of surprise from time to time as it makes them sharper and keeps them alert.
They have coaches and mentors helping to reach even higher levels of success and to get timely feedback so they know they are always moving forward with the best advice from other high value people.
A BONUS Habit:
They are comfortable saying NO to low-value people and activities. They don’t need to please everyone all the time or to simply be “busy”. They have control over their time and thinking and will make people chase them rather than being slave to the schedules and attention of others. High-Value people become more valuable the less average or low-value things they are doing. By focusing their attention and resources on mostly the important things in their life, they achieve lasting joy and lower stress in life.
I hope you found my list useful and that you can relate to a few of these habits in your own practice. It won’t take a lot of time or money to adopt these but the payback will be at least 10X the effort you put into each of them, over time. Try them out and Live Awesome!
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How to Become a “Brand Name” Kind of person
By Shazad
“Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me, Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.” Tom Peters
So much has changed in the past 3 years. What an understatement! Each of us is a ‘brand’ of sorts. We represent things and create an image in people’s minds when they think of us. How we behave, speak, and move is part of the brand that makes up the person we are. Time for some ‘branding’ changes to make yourself even better! A Brand New Start!
Why? Because you’ve experienced a lot and have grown (hopefully) during this global pandemic. You are not the same person you were when this global health crisis began. You need to recognize this and grow forward.
How? Do some self-analysis and figure out what your 3-5 lessons learned are. What did you do well over these few anxious years and what do you wish you could do better? Most importantly, what kind of person have you become today as a result of what you have been through? Do you like this person?
Where do you go from here? That’s up to you. There’s no going back in time and you can’t un-see or forget what has happened to you and the rest of the world. You can use this to develop new ‘superpowers’ and wisdom about yourself so you come out ahead. Think of it as your personal “Post Traumatic Growth” experience of a lifetime. There will probably be more so take good notes and have serious look at yourself to figure out where you want to be.
Some people’s personal “brand” can be defined with a single word like Excellence, Innovation, or Joy. For others, it might be a Life-Long Learner, Trusted Advisor, or Wise Counsel. Figure out the words and phrases that define the brand you are trying to be more of. Use those words more often in your own speech and the way you behave. They will become part of your identity and will drive your ambitions when you do.
A brand is not just a logo, a jingle, or a shape. It’s a life lived intentionally with the best information you have available along with the application of all the good things you know to be true. In short, you should be branded the most Awesome version of yourself over and over again.
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Every Day is Voting Day!
By Shazad
Perhaps not literally in terms of local or federal level elections but you and I are “casting ballots” of sorts each and every day. The choices we make about what to watch, where to eat, what to wear, and even who to spend time with, are all a kind of ‘vote’ for something. It’s done through our purchases, our investment of time, and even the energy we bring to a situation.
Somewhere out there in the web of advertisements, marketing, and data analytics algorithms, our daily choices are being tallied up to ‘elect’ a person or service into existence. Perhaps they are already holding positions of power and we are just reinforcing that with our daily routines.
At some point, we will change our minds and behave differently about food or fun, or maybe who our friends are. That’s when we start to support someone or something else in this never-ending election of ideas, services, and emotions.
Just be aware of this fact. Political elections aren’t the only time when your vote counts. You and I hold a lot of power each and every day!
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Are You Going To Do Well In Life?
By Ahsan
Have you ever felt that the progress you made in your life is not to your expectation?
You can add up your achievements and take comfort in all the things you have done so far. But what about the things you still want to do? When you focus on this, you might get motivated to do more.
It's ok to have things left on your list when your life ends, but what about in between now and then? There is still time left.
You can do more, be more, and have more.
The only thing is that a lot of what we want is hard to do, and we may need more skills or confidence to make it happen. So we go back to feeling unfulfilled and make convenient excuses that only fool us.
This state of inertia and unfulfillment does not have to be your reality. You still have time to go for it; get a few bruises and feel great for making an effort. Others around you are doing what you want to do. Why can't you? Why not you?
Why not?
Can you make a list of your unfulfilled projects, dreams, and goals and do it today, even if you are busy? Sure you can.
Will you feel uncomfortable making this list of essential items left to do in your life? Of course, you will.
But, do it anyway, please.
Many of life’s richest rewards are available to you. But you must ask for it.
There is power in making an intention and acting on your intentions. All hesitation and doubt can be reduced once you ask for what you want.
Asking life for what you want is the attitude that will increase your altitude and make you the bigger success you want to be.
So, answering the question, "are you going to do well in life?" depends on what you do next and what you do today.
Get started by doing the following:
Make a list of all your projects, dreams and goals that you still want to do.
Chalk out which one you will do first, second, third etc.
Create a plan. Do some research. Get a coach and do whatever it takes!
Ask for what you want!
Expect to get it because you are doing something others have already done
I sure hope you do this today. Because if you don’t, no one else will do it for you.
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